|
Post by darktears on Aug 4, 2005 15:49:46 GMT -8
Okay thanks alot. I only did a tiny bit of editing because I was running late to go to town with my mom.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Aug 1, 2005 12:39:26 GMT -8
I did a little bit of editing...just a tiny bit.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Aug 1, 2005 12:35:33 GMT -8
okay, I'll work on editing it.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Jul 31, 2005 14:11:23 GMT -8
okay, thanks alot.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Jul 28, 2005 18:07:43 GMT -8
Thanks, I tried. Lol. I like your thoughts. It was only my third poem. I checked. I'll think of some ways to make it better.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Jul 28, 2005 13:19:19 GMT -8
This is my second or third poem.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Jul 28, 2005 13:19:02 GMT -8
Every time I look to the night it's dark and bright together. Both Stars and Sky stretch across the earth.
Each time I look to the roses. I see black and red together. When your here, I see only red roses.
Most of the time, when you're around. My tears turn to memories, As you give me a better direction.
You help me fall into your arms. and guide me the right way.
Your beautiful in my eyes. And thanks for being so brave.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Jul 29, 2005 15:54:32 GMT -8
This was nice. Just needs some more...something. Ha. Let's see, I really loved this line 'I follow in this phase Surrounded in this maze'. I was just wondering if you wanted this to be a ryhming poem or no. At some points it was rhyming and then it wasn't. It made me kinda confused lol. because at times the rythm was the same and others it wasn't. So I was just wondering. But otherwise a pretty good job.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on May 12, 2005 15:54:43 GMT -8
Thanks, I'll try and find better words to describe sad and depressed. Thanks for you compliments though!
|
|
|
Post by darktears on May 11, 2005 17:54:52 GMT -8
|| I wrote this poem the day after I found out that a boy in my class brother had passed away. I felt very sorry for him and some of my other BFF's because they were all good friends with him. I felt very sad even though I didn't know The boy's brother, it was still very depressing.||
I cried my self to sleep. Knowing you weren't there. I won't see you again. I won't hold you in my arms. I can't escape the sad, that roams inside my heart. The tears inside my eyes, That well up and fall. Everytime I remember you, I start to feel dejected, And I know your never coming back. I can't take it, You passed away. And it's really heartbreaking, I don't know what to do, I'm nothing without you here. You passed away.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Apr 28, 2005 14:44:46 GMT -8
I really liked it. I just think, you should work a little more at it, to make it perfect! Otherwise, nice job
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Mar 16, 2005 15:47:05 GMT -8
I'm sorry for the spelling mistakes...I was kind of rushing a little bit...I had to catch the bus for school.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Mar 14, 2005 7:55:21 GMT -8
Once Again, You Call to Me. Once Again, You Cry. You Never really seem to be, The Girl Inside you Tries.
Now I know Once Again, Who Really Are. Your Nothing, But the Dieing End. Inside A Moving Car.
So I Take A Step Backwards. Into My Old Life And Friends. Then I Know, Between You And Me. This Really Is The End.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Mar 14, 2005 7:52:27 GMT -8
Thank you very much. I enjoy getting compliments, but doesn't everyone?? Lol, well thank you so much.
|
|
|
Post by darktears on Mar 13, 2005 20:21:50 GMT -8
||This is my first poem, hopefully not the last. So please, go east, lol||
When you look into the eyes of them.
They seem so happy and alive,
but you know that deep down, down inside,
They seem just about to die.
Talk to them and see their smile,
feeling up the world.
But when you leave they turn to face.
The darkness inside that hurts.
You seem to think you know their life,
but once you start to think you realize.
Their life is like a t.v script just waiting be revived
|
|