Roadtrip RP (after highschool)

[behindTHEmask]

Through his sunglasses, Matt lifted his eyes to glance back at Carolyn and John. He didn't say a word, just watched behind the darkened lenses.
He just observed, noting his own observations.
You can achieve great things by taking notes, but maybe the experience was better.
"Either of you hungry?" He asked, breaking the silence.
His fingertips ran over the leather encasing the steering wheel.
A cow was murdered for this.
Something is always murdered to make the world more extravagent.
No matter if it be a cow or a teenager in a street gang.
Everything has its price.

[Sparks]

Carolyn watched as John's eyes lit up.
"Actually, I haven't had anything to eat since I can remember," he said.
Carolyn agreed. She hadn't either, but she hadn't been thinking much about food, honestly. She was more concerned with the next decade, because she could see that they were at a turning point.
Turning points are dangerous, dangerous times.
"Maybe we can stop somewhere close," John said, smiling and adding, "I'm going to buy."
Carolyn could see several fast-ood restaurants and sit-in luncheons up ahead.
It was better than being in Port Royal, she thought.
But only in the one way...
"And I present to you the valedictorion of our Class of '04!"
The crowd clapped, and a sunny smile spread across the boy's face on stage.
Carolyn could see her father with the rest of the parents and well-wishers... stomping out a cigarette in the yellow grass, looking up every few minutes to see what was up.
There was a clear day in Cody's voice as he started his speech. "The clock is ticking, my friends."
She drew herself from the silent reverie, with a cold gripping shock, as soon as she realized that she couldn't recall any details of the handsome boy's face.

[behindTHEmask]

Matt shook his head. "The lunch is on me." He smiled.
They'd been through enough.
They just need a break.
After lunch, sooner or later, they'd take that break.
Running and never looking back.
He admired them for it, really. They were taking an idea -a chance- and running with it.
Runnin away from the past.
He was backtracking to the times when he smiled from innocence and joy.
He was starting over from the times in life when he laughed out of pure humor.
Maybe they had the right idea, and he was all wrong.

[Sparks]

"No," John said. "We've already emptied a tank of gas in your car. Moral obligation."
Carolyn intervened. "We'll work it out when we get there," she said.
The sun was at the point where it wasn't really close to the horizon yet, but you knew it was going to get sucked down in an awful hurry, and within about three hours it would be dusk.
Cause I'm due for a miracle, I'm waiting for a sign...
She felt the presence of a burden on her shoulders.
Maybe when they finally got out all right, made it out safe... maybe then, she'd really feel free.
Freedom always costs someone, though.
Freedom never comes for free.
She wondered if it was just the exhaustion of the day. But she could feel a face growing on the burden. And the burden, well, it looked an awful lot like the kids she used to know.
It looked an awful lot like Cameron, the kids in the crash, and it had her mother's eyes.
She closed her own for a second.
Sweat formed on her upper lip but she didn't really care, because who really does? She wasn't wearing concealer.
For once.

[behindTHEmask]

"I don't go by moral obligations. I've had things handed to me my whole life," Matt said, looking straight onto the road. Typical, now. He used to take in the scenary, but now his body was tense - he couldn't divert his attention.
But the sun was beginning to fall asleep. It'd wander off to another town and another day, in another state, shining on another group of teenagers.
They cycle is never ending.
"Let me give back." A little smile rolled onto his lips as he switched lanes.
He could never stay in one place for a long time - he was ansy. He had to be moving, keeping his mind focused on one thing or another.
"Either of you play an instrument?"

[Sparks]

"Not me," Carolyn started, "But John's really good with a-"
"Bass," John said immediately.
Of course he would, too. He was amazing at it.
And not just to Carolyn. She'd heard them jam before, in the basement sometimes. Cody had often mentioned how jealous he was of his younger brother's musical inclinations.
Self-taught. He couldn't read sheet music, she had learned.
It was a bassline that was almost corrupt. Every song spun out of control under his fingers and it was as if he wasn't even making it happen. It wasn't even him.
It was the instrument speaking, and he was the translator.
"How about you?" Carolyn asked.
She thought this looked like a guitar boy.
She thought that she could see it in him.

[behindTHEmask]

By the way they jumped at the answer, Matt could tell John was a talented musician - no doubts about that.
No one really just jumped at an answer to impress someone, unless they were worth impressing.
Carolyn and John didn't seem like they needed to impress anyone.
"I played guitar, and I can play a few drum beats."
He shrugged softly.
His acoustic was in the back. He figured if he wasn't going home for awhile, he could play gigs to pass the time.
It would open his eyes a bit.
Connect with the audience.
That's what music was to him - a connection between two souls.
He played the music, they listened and related.
It was a perfect toss up.
He found people who were just like him.
It opened his eyes to a world of having someone beside him.

[Sparks]

And a few drum beats.
Well, since Matt and Cameron were related, it didn't surprise her a bit.
Carolyn was thinking about all those nights she'd spent through the last few years listening to them play and the laughter that always came with it. The insiders that never seemed so precious as they did now.
She stopped herself from pondering the possibilities anymore, or the past, because she'd have a couple decades at least to figure it out in the future.
Up ahead, her eyes spotted a small, sit-in luncheon labeled "The Golden Grill".
She pointed it out to Matt. "How does that look?"
Beside her, John said, "I think it looks like a plan."

[behindTHEmask]

"Looks fine to me," Matt said, turning the wheel into the parking lot of The Golden Grill. "Reminds me of when I was younger."
He had a photographic memory - or at least he remembered the memories he wished to forget.
He was seven years old and out for the day with his dad. His eyes were lit up like candles on a birthday cake. Dad never took him out, this was a chance to show him how he'd grown - how smart he'd become.
They were having lunch at a quaint little grill in their neighborhood. Matt was thrilled when he walked in their by the man he thought the world of. They sat down at a booth, and ordered lunch. The place smelled of greese - of hamburgers and men drinking alcohol. His father ordered a beer, and caught the eye of a coworker at the firm. He introduced Matt - Mathew, then- and the older men had a conversation.
Three beers later they were still talking, Matt's placemat was covered in pictures and Father still wasn't ready to leave.
Four beers added to the three he'd already drinken, Matt asked his dad to leave. Father didn't pay much attention because he was in the converstaion so deeply, so Matt asked again until his father gave him a glance. He told Matt that it wasn't time yet, so Matt complained a bit. His father told him to shut his mouth, that he was being rude, so he did. He sat there for another two beers and decided to ask again. Irritated this time, his father whipped him across his face with his fingertips. Matt cried, and a scene was created.
Finding a parking spot, Matt let his eyes drop to the steering wheel. His bottom lip rolled under his two front teeth as he unbuckled the belt.

[Sparks]

Carolyn eagerly opened the door beside her and slid out of the leather interior. The sun was dark and calm, almost perfect in summer's way.
Feet on the pavement, she dropped her hands in her pockets and watched Matt and John do the same.
Soon enough, they were heading into the restaurant.
And she could have predicted it - but the smells were fresh when the doors opened and they filed in.
Heavenly, almost. Buttered pancakes and thick meaty American burgers... eggs drizzled with syrup and french toast yellow with yolk.
She hadn't realized her hunger. It wasn't something she had really been worrying about, over the past few hours.
There were so many things happening.
Starting a new life isn't an easy thing. It's not easy to shed eighteen years and ignore the frozen eyes of victimized allies. It wasn't without difficulty - taking these steps and knowing that every time her feet hit the ground, she was further and further away from the only thing she'd ever really known.
But at least it was something. It was a start.

[behindTHEmask]

Matt slid out of the car, and onto the pavement. He could feel the suns rays hit his skin. Carolyn was already out, so he shut the door to wait for John.
He was hungry and not hungry at all. It was the feeling that he needed to eat, but didn't want to. He had things on his mind taking away from his focus on food. His mind was isolated to the moment when he'll walk through Cameron's door and not see Cameron. He couldn't even imagine the expressions on his relatives faces.
Did he really have features of Cameron? If he did, could they handle it? If they couldn't, they wouldn't have been so welcoming.
Matt shook his head, stepping away from the car to meet up with Carolyn. The moment couldn't be wasted in his own isolation. He needed to breath with the rest of them.

[taliesin]

(You guys look like you're managing pretty well on your own... So let's just say Craig flatlined! *bip bip bip* There! He's dead.)

[Sparks]

(Ahtragedystrikes >< )


Pretty soon they were all in the restaurant.
Carolyn's ability to eat was questionable, but her hunger was not.
Being the first one in, she chose a booth for four and fell into it, sliding her body to the end of the cushioned seat.
She made sure that she was as close to the window as possible, because she liked windows, and it was nice as long as it wasn't shattered into a blood coctail on your lap.
There was a dull, numbing headache pounding in her skull, and the window, the cushion, the enclosed space, the smell of food, the memories stirring in the back of her neck...
Abruptly she gripped the table and pulled herself back out of the booth, feeling much sicker than before.
You can't go on like this, she thought dimly, turning around and blindly running into a familiar face, but one she couldn't quite discern because of the thick nausea in her stomach.
"Washroom," she said, and spun around, almost losing her footing.
She reached the restroom in record time, and found herself bending over a toilet, her eyes shut tight, her head blank.
It's that feeling where you wish you could just die.
And not have to feel it.
Carolyn wasn't a dramatic person though. She stood hunched, hands on her knees, her eyes shut, until she vomited, and didn't make a noise the entire time.
And again, until she felt so empty that her legs trembled.
She pushed the door opened behind her and looked at herself in the Lady's Room mirror.
She was tired. There were subtle bags under her eyes, but none so outrageous that you would know what she had been through.
It was more the way she looked straight at herself, and the lack of expression - the pale lips and the dim
(keep it a secret)
brown eyes that gave away nothing.
She looked to the hairband on her wrist, and threw her hair into a ponytail.
Carolyn stepped close to the sink and turned on the water.

[behindTHEmask]

"Is she all right?" Matt lifted a brow, watching her run off to the bathroom. She spun as soon as she sat down and was off. There was one of two emergencies. He just wasn't sure which.
Sliding into the booth, he glanced out the window. "She doesn't reveal herself much, does she?" He noticed that about Carolyn. She didn't tell a story like most did. Problems lying behind glossed eyes. Secrets on the tip of the tongue, falling down the throat. She isolated herself from that, and seemed strong for it.
But maybe behind those eyes she cried. Maybe in the dark at two in the morning, she cried herself to sleep.
Matt turned his look towards John, shrugging slightly. Grabbing a menu, he read the food offered.

[Sparks]

What's wrong with you?
She'd asked herself the question so many times.
No reply.
Letting her hands hang in the frigid water, she stared at her reflection.
It was like looking at something that was about to disappear.
You're a fucking waste.
I hate you.
Carolyn held her counterpart's gaze and watched with tangled emotions as the girl's eyes grew red.
I'll come back for you, sweetie.
Carolyn's hands were going numb by the time she realized she was crying.
Lucky thing there was barely anyone in the restaurant, and probably no one would walk in on her. Lucky thing.
But I always get lucky, she thought, and even her inner voice was bitter. Loathing. Angry in a way that made her skeptical it was even her thinking it.
The pressure slowed in her forehead, and she closed her eyes for a minute. The water was still spidering over her hands.
What did it all mean?
And why had she just gotten sick?
Why was she the one that had to run away?
Because that is what you got dealt.
That is how we live.
That is how we die.
She pulled her hands out of the water with shocking speed and rubbed at her eyes, smudging the mascara.
Turning off the tap and grabbing a paper towel, she cleaned her face off.
Those tire tracks, zig-zag your torso like a Devil's self-portrait
The car accident, the skin graft treatment, the flower baskets, the wincing relatives...
"Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck". The song snaked through her eardrums.
Love, love, love, love, love, love...rhymes with pity now.
Stop it, she thought.
And yet the images wouldn't go.
The headlights.
The empty road.
The map crumpled in Craig's lap.
John, leaning agaist the window.
And the crash.
The hideous car wreck. The break. The bend. The blackness.
Carolyn shook her head and opened her eyes wide, looking at her face again.
She had been about ten minutes.
She wouldn't explain. There'd be no way to go about it.
Taking a few deep breaths, she waited for her eyes to clear up.
Her cheeks were still red from her rubbing at them, and her eyes were more or less white, if not a bit swollen.
She didn't feel sick anymore though.
Breathing in through her nose, she shunned the mirror and left the bathroom.