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Post by Confusion on May 28, 2005 1:17:55 GMT -8
Rainbow sunlight
Glistening with life
One day
Rainbow kisses
Public with no fear
An open eye
Light with love
Rainbow hugs
Warm as the sun
Shining with aproval
We are all unique
The only bond keeping
Us sane
We can all love
If we in turn are loved
LOVE
Love me
I'll love you too
Today a world
Of rainbows
For me
And
You
One day
I'll be a rainbow belly just like you
I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos
I want to be a rainbow belly
Just like you
One day
I'll cover the black nail
I curse upon the light
I want to be a rainbow belly
To sing the songs of life
Just like you
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Post by Confusion on May 28, 2005 1:20:13 GMT -8
this probably will need editing... it's just something i quickly thought up and so typed it in quick... it's ment to be about everyone loving each other and respecting each others differences as good and individuality.
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Post by Ramona on May 28, 2005 11:08:43 GMT -8
teh whole poem seemed kind of Care-Bear-ish because of the tie to rainbows. I think it would've been better if there was more in between each mention of rainbows. I mean, you said you wanted it to be about embracing individuality and loveing everyone, so why not include everyone. 'Cause this way it sounds like...well, Care Bears...which freak me out, they're creepy little things.
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Post by Confusion on May 28, 2005 13:59:35 GMT -8
yea it does need more added to it... but i think i'll keep the rainbow thingy... cause rainbow is the gay and lesbian colours so i thought it particually linked to that... instead of care bears?  but i think when i am more awake ill add more between the rainbow bits, maybe involving the black nail bit in the title in it... thanx for your comment! |
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Post by Confusion on May 28, 2005 14:10:55 GMT -8
i've just edited it a bit, although there is more i still want to do, i think......
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Post by Ramona on May 28, 2005 17:26:53 GMT -8
I figured you were aiming for that, I wasn't suggesting you remove the rainbow comments, just to expand on them a bit. And you're welcome.
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Post by Confusion on May 29, 2005 5:19:31 GMT -8
i've edited it a bit more now.... im ok with most of it, but i dont think any of it is very good really..... i think i still need to sorta work on a bit of padding around the rainbow kisses, rainbow hugs bit... otherwise i agree with it sounding a bit care bear-ish!
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Post by Confusion on May 29, 2005 5:26:22 GMT -8
i've edited it quite a lot now.. i prefer it to before but im still not sure about it... any comments or suggestions?
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Post by Ramona on May 29, 2005 7:04:56 GMT -8
It's a lot better, now, but the rainbow belly thing I don't get. Maybe I'm just 'tarded. Anyway, it's really good.
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Post by Confusion on May 29, 2005 7:46:15 GMT -8
thanx!!! lol i'm sure you're not tarded, i think i'm just slightly random and crazy!!!
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