Post by iffix on Nov 21, 2005 18:04:19 GMT -8
What do you think? Critique would be appreciated. But I can understand if you'd rather not read a cyborg faq.
Cyborgs rule, and in light of that I’ve made the decision to type up an FAQ on them.
Q: What exactly does a cyborg do?
A: A cyborg does nothing except kill everything in its path and look cool doing it.
Q: Isn’t a cyborg just a person with some sort of machine part? Technically someone with a pacemaker is a cyborg.
A: Wrong, a cyborg is a killing machine. All it does is kill, and no cyborg has a pacemaker. Pacemakers are for pansies that can’t even keep their heart beating a proper pace. Cyborgs don’t even have hearts.
Q: Cyborgs sound pretty hardcore, how do they get friends? Especially when they lack a heart
A: Cyborgs don’t have friends, and if they did tell someone that they were their friend it would be a trick to kill them and mentally scar them.
Q: Cyborgs are machines; therefore they must run out of batteries/solar energy/ gas at some point, correct?
A: No, incorrect. A cyborg is unstoppable, it runs on it’s seething rage and desire for death.
Q: What if the cyborg was standing in front of the sun when it went super-nova and became a neutron star?
A: The cyborg would get up close so that it could get nailed in the face when the sun went super-nova and imploded. Then when the sun became a black hole, the cyborg would jump inside, flex its manly biceps and tear the black hole – thus destroying it with the cyborgs mad skillz.
Q: Who makes cyborgs?
A: Cyborgs aren’t ‘made’ so much as they are created.
Q: Created? How?
A: When a person dies they become a cyborg, the Bible says so.
Q: How do you know so much about cyborgs?
A: I’ve watched a lot of Robocop episodes, all the Terminators and four other cyborg shows.
Q: If a cyborg is a dead human then shouldn’t the earth be over-populated?
A: No, the cyborgs are sent to other planets by God, there they murder aliens and other forms of life that feel pain.
Q: What will happen if God sends a cyborg to earth?
A: It will kill everything, including you.
Q: How does a cyborg kill something?
A: It tears the victim apart using it’s bare hands. Like a real man. Then it takes pictures and sends the pictures to friends and family.
Q: How big will a cyborg be?
A: A cyborg will be about eight feet tall and come equipped with a savage helmet and awesome x-ray vision.
Q: What if I don’t want to be killed by a cyborg?
A: Tough shi , the cyborg will hunt you down and tear you apart. Then it’ll send the tape to your family and friends.
Q: What if I insult the cyborg? It shouldn’t care because it’s just a machine right?
A: Wrong, the cyborg will start killing everyone you ever loved, and then it will r4pe their dead bodies. Cyborgs rule.
Q: Will a human ever be able to control a cyborg?
A: No, if a human tried to tell a cyborg anything the cyborg would go crazy and torture the human until it died. Then it would eat the human.
Q: Cyborgs eat humans? But why?
A: Because it looks cool, and cyborgs always are finding new ways to look cool.
Q: A cyborg must feel some form of compassion if its past is human, shouldn’t it?
A: No, cyborgs are so pissed off when they die that they kill everything until they feel better.
Q: When will they feel better?
A: Never, a cyborg lives in agony and is constantly screaming for more blood.
Q: What happens when the cyborg runs out of things to kill?
A: It forces aliens/humans to reproduce so it can kill some more.
Q: What if I threw my baby in front of a cyborg? It wouldn’t be able to kill it, not such a small and helpless being.
A: Wrong, it would step on each of the babies limbs, and then it would smash the infant’s face into a brick wall, smearing everything in blood. Cyborgs rock.
Q: If a cyborg came to earth and couldn’t be destroyed, there’s nothing to stop us from containing it right?
A: Actually cyborgs always play around and pretend to be captured so that they can make a cool escape and murder the whole guard. Then they take pictures of the mangled bodies so they can send them to the guard’s women and children via email.
Q: What movie did cyborgs do this?
A: All of them, just not onscreen.
Q: Are cyborgs magic?
A: No, cyborgs actually hate Wiccans. One time someone told a cyborg they were Wiccan so the cyborg freaked out and stabbed the witch to death with her very own wand.
Q: What weapons can a cyborg use? I.e. M4, PF46
A: A real cyborg uses /no/ weapons. It uses its bare hands because tearing people apart looks way cooler than shooting someone. Cyborgs are always tearing something apart, and are always destroying someone’s soul – it’s a fact.
Q: What kind of music do cyborgs listen to?
A: Cyborgs originally listened to Techno until it became to mainstream. A cyborg is fully original and hates to conform. That’s why cyborgs are always breaking the law and killing people. These days cyborgs play a song that best fits whatever brutal death they are imposing – mostly heavy metal.
Q: Do cyborgs have armies?
A: No, a cyborg is completely solo, unless it decides to team up with another cyborg to kill things more efficiently and do awesome dual maneuvers that will enable the cyborgs to look /even/ cooler.
Cyborgs rule, and in light of that I’ve made the decision to type up an FAQ on them.
Q: What exactly does a cyborg do?
A: A cyborg does nothing except kill everything in its path and look cool doing it.
Q: Isn’t a cyborg just a person with some sort of machine part? Technically someone with a pacemaker is a cyborg.
A: Wrong, a cyborg is a killing machine. All it does is kill, and no cyborg has a pacemaker. Pacemakers are for pansies that can’t even keep their heart beating a proper pace. Cyborgs don’t even have hearts.
Q: Cyborgs sound pretty hardcore, how do they get friends? Especially when they lack a heart
A: Cyborgs don’t have friends, and if they did tell someone that they were their friend it would be a trick to kill them and mentally scar them.
Q: Cyborgs are machines; therefore they must run out of batteries/solar energy/ gas at some point, correct?
A: No, incorrect. A cyborg is unstoppable, it runs on it’s seething rage and desire for death.
Q: What if the cyborg was standing in front of the sun when it went super-nova and became a neutron star?
A: The cyborg would get up close so that it could get nailed in the face when the sun went super-nova and imploded. Then when the sun became a black hole, the cyborg would jump inside, flex its manly biceps and tear the black hole – thus destroying it with the cyborgs mad skillz.
Q: Who makes cyborgs?
A: Cyborgs aren’t ‘made’ so much as they are created.
Q: Created? How?
A: When a person dies they become a cyborg, the Bible says so.
Q: How do you know so much about cyborgs?
A: I’ve watched a lot of Robocop episodes, all the Terminators and four other cyborg shows.
Q: If a cyborg is a dead human then shouldn’t the earth be over-populated?
A: No, the cyborgs are sent to other planets by God, there they murder aliens and other forms of life that feel pain.
Q: What will happen if God sends a cyborg to earth?
A: It will kill everything, including you.
Q: How does a cyborg kill something?
A: It tears the victim apart using it’s bare hands. Like a real man. Then it takes pictures and sends the pictures to friends and family.
Q: How big will a cyborg be?
A: A cyborg will be about eight feet tall and come equipped with a savage helmet and awesome x-ray vision.
Q: What if I don’t want to be killed by a cyborg?
A: Tough shi , the cyborg will hunt you down and tear you apart. Then it’ll send the tape to your family and friends.
Q: What if I insult the cyborg? It shouldn’t care because it’s just a machine right?
A: Wrong, the cyborg will start killing everyone you ever loved, and then it will r4pe their dead bodies. Cyborgs rule.
Q: Will a human ever be able to control a cyborg?
A: No, if a human tried to tell a cyborg anything the cyborg would go crazy and torture the human until it died. Then it would eat the human.
Q: Cyborgs eat humans? But why?
A: Because it looks cool, and cyborgs always are finding new ways to look cool.
Q: A cyborg must feel some form of compassion if its past is human, shouldn’t it?
A: No, cyborgs are so pissed off when they die that they kill everything until they feel better.
Q: When will they feel better?
A: Never, a cyborg lives in agony and is constantly screaming for more blood.
Q: What happens when the cyborg runs out of things to kill?
A: It forces aliens/humans to reproduce so it can kill some more.
Q: What if I threw my baby in front of a cyborg? It wouldn’t be able to kill it, not such a small and helpless being.
A: Wrong, it would step on each of the babies limbs, and then it would smash the infant’s face into a brick wall, smearing everything in blood. Cyborgs rock.
Q: If a cyborg came to earth and couldn’t be destroyed, there’s nothing to stop us from containing it right?
A: Actually cyborgs always play around and pretend to be captured so that they can make a cool escape and murder the whole guard. Then they take pictures of the mangled bodies so they can send them to the guard’s women and children via email.
Q: What movie did cyborgs do this?
A: All of them, just not onscreen.
Q: Are cyborgs magic?
A: No, cyborgs actually hate Wiccans. One time someone told a cyborg they were Wiccan so the cyborg freaked out and stabbed the witch to death with her very own wand.
Q: What weapons can a cyborg use? I.e. M4, PF46
A: A real cyborg uses /no/ weapons. It uses its bare hands because tearing people apart looks way cooler than shooting someone. Cyborgs are always tearing something apart, and are always destroying someone’s soul – it’s a fact.
Q: What kind of music do cyborgs listen to?
A: Cyborgs originally listened to Techno until it became to mainstream. A cyborg is fully original and hates to conform. That’s why cyborgs are always breaking the law and killing people. These days cyborgs play a song that best fits whatever brutal death they are imposing – mostly heavy metal.
Q: Do cyborgs have armies?
A: No, a cyborg is completely solo, unless it decides to team up with another cyborg to kill things more efficiently and do awesome dual maneuvers that will enable the cyborgs to look /even/ cooler.
