Echoes

[Ramona]

I wrote this today. Cliche romance, but I like it just the same.

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I can feel the damp mud through my pants. I’m sitting cross-legged on the ground with you, and it brings back faint memories of preschool.
Criss-cross applesauce.
My fingers are busy hiding from the wind, ensconced in my sleeves. Your face is patterned by the very sunlight that we ironically seek while under a tree. The shade is an underlying tone of ambience.
We’ve been talking about anything, everything, enjoying the ability to hear each other. Usually the echoes of laughter and screaming make it hard to hear anything unless you happen to be physically close to whoever you were trying to listen to. I wouldn’t have minded that if it had been you I was trying to hear.
The air was filled with question marks, some of them mine, some of them yours. I was looking at the clouds, looking like I wasn’t paying attention, but I was still listening intently. I was listening hard, just in case you might say something I wouldn’t have wanted to miss. Waiting can be hard sometimes. A thought fell onto me, and I interrupted your words with mine.
“What high school are you going to?”<br>“East. I’ll miss you.”<br>You reached over and held my hand in yours. My fingers slid over your skin, and I could feel your pulse in my own flesh. I immediately forgot whatever it was I might have said next. Why would I need to remember? The entire universe knew that you were holding my hand. I was caught up in the quixotic gesture you’d committed, and I could feel my breath like a sin upon my lips.
Years passed that way. Your chocolate eyes have gained much in knowledge, but never lost the laughter that was there that day. Your smile is just as playful as it had been when I held my world in my hand then. Your thoughts just as affectionate as when the middle school sunlight shone on your face years ago.
And my hand is still yours to hold.

[Ramona]

I'm trying to think of another title for it, something maybe a little more fitting, if anyone has any suggestions.

[Ramona]

Anyone?

[quilleh]

<sup>I agree, it is a bit cliched, and I think I'd like it better if I wasn't feeling bitter at the moment. I'm not really sure why; I just, am. Heh. o.0
Anyways, I really liked the phrase
"The air was filled with question marks, some of them mine, some of them yours."

Cool, cool.</sup>

[Ramona]

Thanks very much.

[nydreamer]

I thought it was pretty good, even if it is a cliche` or not. It describes my relationship with my b/f right now.
Hmmmm, a title...a title. Sorry if I don't help. Um, Seasons of Change?

[Sparks]

I agree about the question mark line, I think that was probably my favourite.
Maybe I'm bitter too, but for me, it was overall just a little flat, like there didn't seem to be too much purpose for half the words in it.
Not bad, though. I feel no negative vibes.
I just, I don't know, maybe this soft middleschool love subject was never the best thing for me in the first place.

[Ramona]

Yeah, I was hoping no one would notice the totally unnecessary phrases in there, I was trying to make it longer, because it seemed a little short. I'm a sucker for the middle school romance thing...maybe because I am in middle school. I always thought it was a fun, funny subject anyway, but thanks all the same.