Photograph

[Ramona]

I have had this sort of odd fixation with thrift-store photos lately, just because you're looking at someone else's life, you know? Anyway, this poem was inspired by a picture of a girl I saw. it's sort of stream-of-consciousness stuff, like Paul Simon lyrics.

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her skin looks kind of pale
but even
and it's not like it's that color anyway
i bet the flash makes everything change

and she's got this beauty mark
like Marilyn
and i bet she loves it
'cause it's
like marilyn's

she's wearing these glasses
these secretary glasses
but she wanted Buddy Hollies
i bet that's what she wanted

and, man, she's got this look
like intense disbelief
and a nose like an Aztec goddess
coyly curving eyebrows
like smirks

and her face
it's framed by wild
curly curly hair

[ScarletMornings]

i like it. it's very descriptive and good language. i think you did really great on this. it's an unusual idea for a poem. but i like it.

[Queen of Rain]

this is nice.. very paul simon which is awesome cos im so into diamonds on the soles of her shoes right now
The descriptive language is lovely but I think you could work on your linking words in the first half of the poem.. the "kind of" feels out of place to the rest of the language... and I think it would flow better with "just like marilyn's"

the feeling of this poem is really so well captured dear..

[Ramona]

Thanks ot both of you, and Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes is a great song. I love the song Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard, too.

[Confusion]

amazing poem! i love the way that it feels as if the persona knows her and yet is somehow very distant from her. i agree that phrases like 'kind of' and 'man' don't quite fit.. they seem a bit coloquial? lovely poem!