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Post by darktears on Apr 19, 2006 19:21:26 GMT -8
In school I have to write a poem for this book called Mud City by Deborah Ellis. The book is about this girl who lives on her own in Afghanistan. So this is what the poem is about.
A small girl sits alone on the side of a busy street. Begging for a little food and praying for some peace.
The talabans are taking charge and making cruel, unreasonable rules. Women in different shades of burqa's. Captured men, who look like fools.
Little children, lonely and afraid, are running 'round the town. No family to go home to, no fun to be had For the talaban soldiers are looking down.
Will bread be enough? to feed these tired, lifeless souls. It's hard to find water clean enough to drink. Dirty water, either hot or cold.
Be careful where you step, For the minefields on the ground. The explosion that screechs in your ears, Is such a painful sound.
This is the world they must live in, They have no choice but to attend. The question really is though, When will this ever end?
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Post by darktears on Apr 30, 2006 12:12:42 GMT -8
anyone?
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Post by lya on May 1, 2006 7:18:15 GMT -8
It's a beautiful poem. I love the feelings and i love the ideas. I think you could check the lengths of some lines though. A lot of the verses don't flow properly. I love the way you got the rhyme to work.
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Post by cry,crayola. on May 4, 2006 16:38:24 GMT -8
yeah, the flow's just kinda off in some places. that's all i see.
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