the rain

[shadowsglory]

The Rain
The Rain is washing all my pain.
The Thunder is yelling out the troubles.
The Lighting is striking all my fears.
The Rain
The Rain is cleansing my soul.
The Thunder is speaking out my anger.
The Lighting is hitting all my enemys.
The Rain
The Rain is dropping me messages.
The Thunder is my reply.
The lighting is our connection line.
The Rain
The Rain,the Thunder,the Lighting,the Sky are beside me

[cry,crayola.]

whoa.........

alrighty. i'm not so sure of the repetition of 'the' it's a little mundane and takes away any want to actually find meaning in what could be a great piece. also, your idea is a little too strait forward. if you tried to put a little more imagery and analogies i think that might fix it up a little better.

you have a great idea here. you just need to work on it to make it better, because i can see potential in it becoming a fine piece.

good luck, and welcome to the site!