Colby - a prayer

[cry,crayola.]

mistakes
only temporary
i promise
God,
if there is a God,
bring him back
please
guide him back to us.
Lord, we miss him
his smile
his personality
everything about him
now gone.
no one knows where he is.
no one at all
it's scary
for all of us
and
we just miss him
dearly
mistakes,
even as major as his,
can be forgiven,
can't they?
that's what you preach,
right?
i don't think he knows
he used too.
not anymore.
it's just so lonely.
lonely without him.
please, God.
help.


this might be horrible, as most of my recent (or all of it) work, but........ bleh. this is for my friend, colby, who's done a lot of bad things. he used to be a real good kid, like a rep. for the youth leadership team at church, and good grades, but none of his friends know what's happened to him after......... all these things he's done. if you're christian, i beg of you to pray for him. colby smith.

[cry,crayola.]

oh yeah. what do you all think of this poem, which probably is horrible and will be overlooked anyways.

i'm tired. bleh.

[Ramona]

Hmmm. It feels like it's really heartfelt to me, there's a lot of emotion in there. However, teh rhythm felt very choppy to me. I do think it has a good core, though.

[Robin]

As Ramona said, it is quite heartfelt, but it's just not up to par.

More imagery might help you. Readers don't appreciate being spoon-fed an idea.

[cry,crayola.]

i see what your saying. *sigh* it seems that i can't get my poems just right lately. bleh.