bleed me blue

[Pseudomuse]

attemp at a new style of poetry.

PM

bleed me blue


opium bleeds me blue

so blue.

did you feel

it’s raining snowy splinters of glass?

this has shaken us so hard

so hard.



aglow

the little veins are aglow

and the markings left

prickle and shine.



opium bleeds me blue

so blue,

in the flickering lamplight

i see you, so blue.

did you know

the winter snow is on us

now.



touch, your fiery touch

so like the blazinghotwhitescauldingbreath

instantaneous repercussions.



aglow

i am aglow

i see the splinters left

by shattered sun shards.



bleed me, bleed me

blue

[Queen of Rain]

at times its a bit too skippy with the short stanzas(eg did you feel), and 2nd line in 4th stanza i maybe liek a word too long..
but other than that its lovely! repetitions work well, wonderful images created. your neologism are in general amazing and create really nice rhythm.. l o v e l y

[cry,crayola.]

i love the repetition of blue in here. all of it is absolutly genius. it's a-may-zing! i love it! i applaud at your marvelous work. *claps*

[Ramona]

Gos I really love this, but the last stanza seems a bit too repetitive because you say "bleed me" twice, but perhaps it will seem better when I read it again at a time when I'm not so tired.

[cry,crayola.]

maybe there just needs to be a line break there, but i do love the repetition and the emphasis on bleed there. did that even make sense?.........

[Pseudomuse]

I am going to revise it soon, thanks everyone. Besos to Scarlet for the idea, inspired by her piece Aglow.