Untitled 11-06-05

[Pseudomuse]

Another Sylvia Plath inspired poem.

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Untitled 11-06-05

Solid granite presses against
my back as I look up to the sky
back and forth my hand moves
unable to follow the
journey of simple space dust

follow me my dear
and we will speak of little else
the moon shall shelter us
for she knows our secrets

she knows the shaking cold sweat
as paranoia shifts through the body
and the blood red stains on
linoleum titles are sequential

those who share one soul, one
mind, one body - beware

martrying the cow is not the
answer

[cry,crayola.]

i like this a whole whole bunch! the second stanza is my favorite. my only crit. is the last stanza. i dunno how a better way to say it would be, but the flow seems very disturbed to me. i dunno. but otherwise, this is absolutly stunning. very vivid in detail and great word usage.