Glass Eyes

[somewhatpoetic]

Glass Eyes

Have you ever looked into
someone’s eyes?
Have you ever seen what is hidden
there LURKING,
just waiting to be unleashed?

Have you ever looked into
MY eyes?
Have you ever seen my thoughts
my scars,
my insanity?

Have you ever looked into
HIS eyes?
Have you ever seen his hate
his hurt,
his defections?

Have you ever looked into
HER eyes?
Have you ever seen her fantasies
her fears,
her lies?

The hidden things lie
QUIETLY
in the back
waiting patiently for
the time you slip

Then out they
escape and take over
to SHOCK and
KILL
whoever is in their path

[Ramona]

Very odd, but not necessarily in a bad way. I think the CAPITAL words would be better italicized (though I suppose that has nothing to do with the actual poetry.) That being said, here's the crit:
In the second stanza, "insanity" seems a bit out of place, but I can't think of another word that has uite the same impact, but better rhythm. In the third stanza - correct me if I'm wrong - but I don't think "defections" is a word, perhaps you meant "defects?"

[cry,crayola.]

yeah, caps always make things seem really weird unless used in a spot of anger, or at least that's what i think. the line brakes are a little off, it seems like, so the rhythm falters a little there. i think the transition from the stanza about 'his' eyes and the next is a little uncomfortable. other than that, i think it's pretty great!