guilty

[cry,crayola.]

and i feel guilty.
responsible.
does that explain my timid manner?
you look at me.
the jealousy.
the agony.
the pain it causes you to look at me
at my accomplishments.
my father,
your father,
we share
the only thing we share
it's not my fault
that i'm your half
your mine as well, brother
but i see the torture you endure
my trophies,
my medals,
my walls of certificates,
my talent.
my chance at your father,
our father.
please, do not look at me that way
i am what i am and nothing else
nothing else but......
guilty.



please tell me what you guys think this means. i'm not sure if i got the meaning across the way i ment for it to. i'm not sure i like the title either. any suggestions?

[darktears]

I think that this means that you have a halfbrother and he is jealous of you because you can do things he can't and make your guys father proud, am I right?

[Queen of Rain]

sounbds like competition between siblings, but I really like how it all can be very symbolic.. the beginning is brilliant and the rhythm really emphasises the feeling, same with the end.. in the middle it gets a bit too wordy for my taste but it is good.

[cry,crayola.]

yay! dark tears got it! i was afraid i didn't make it to where you guys could understand it.

[darktears]

I could totally understand it, it's very nice btw. I really like it.

[ScarletMornings]

i absolutely agree. i think this is an awesome poem, very emotional and open. does this have anything to do with one of your half bros, btw??

[cry,crayola.]

yes it does.

[Ramona]

I understood it easily adn i really like the idea, but it seems like maybe you said too much. Like you could get the meaning across with fewer words so you ended up just repeating yourself.

[cry,crayola.]

ok, i understand what you're telling me, but could u point out where the message is getting repetitive?

[Ramona]

Never mind, the part I thought was kind of repetive seemed that way because I read it wrong, sorry about that.

[cry,crayola.]

k!