Hide Away

[vampiressknight2]

Okay, I was vampiressknight...I got grounded for a bit, and when I try getting back in...I'm gone. So I'm back with this poem.
_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ __ _ ___ _

Hide Away


Slip into the darkness,
Forget about them all.
All I do to escape,
These horrors, and their call.

Never ending sorrow,
In my way to reach the peace.
Staring out a window,
From the inner sense of me.

I’ll keep slipping further,
Burying myself away.
If I ever hold on,
I’ll not let go till it bleeds.
Bury myself in this writing that you see,
Hide myself away, in eternal fantasy.

Looking in a mirror,
Catch a flash of light.
Open up the darkness,
With a tearful key.

Run away from chaos,
From this oddly human zoo.
Run away from screaming,
From a child’s echoing call.

I’ll keep slipping further,
Burying myself away.
If I ever hold on,
I’ll not let go till it bleeds.
Bury myself in this writing that you see,
Hide myself away, in eternal fantasy.

[cry,crayola.]

i think the line 'if i ever hold on,' kinda disrupts the flow, and 'bury myself in this writing that you see' kinda does too. other than that, i like it!!!!

[vampiressknight2]

The first line you mentioned I semi-agree with. But the second goes along with 'Hide myself away, in eternal fantasy', and I like it.

[Ramona]

I think the third stanza (the one your repeat) has some rhthym problems, but I like the ideas in it, so I'm not sure how/if you could fix it. Also, it seems like in the first two stanzas you had a rhyming scheme, but you just disregarded it in the fifth and sixth.

[cry,crayola.]

ah, i do see what you mean, now. i've decided to change my mind. i like the phrase eternal fantasy as well