Little Sister- Revised

[ScarletMornings]

please comment??

It was hard to know
when I just plunged in
that I would end up like this
a burden
that I would be reminded of that fact
every time I slipped up
I hate showing my age
I'm like the albatross
‘round your neck
I know you don’t mean to do it
usually
but you let me know
all I do is bring you down


I'm just a little girl
in her big sister’s clothes
trying to keep up
to stretch myself big enough
to make up for my immaturities
no one else knows I still sleep with my teddy bear
but they all look at me like I should
those brief glimpses of reality make me wonder
maybe it would have been better
if I'd never known
equality
being included
respected
like I had something to contribute
when my eyes are still half-closed
from playing hide-and-seek so much

You gave me the power to hurt you
and then expected I would use it
but hurting the one you love the best
is a double-edged blade
because what is love
but being willing to give anything
do anything
so another can be happy
and it hurts to know you think I would betray that
and it hurts to know I just might
because of my fears
because of my childish illusions
because I'm not always ready for the things you do
sometimes you forget I'm barely in high school
and it kills me when you get mad at me
because I lash out at the unknown of what you mean

I'm sorry I'm not mature enough
to take this with no fears
no tears
no silly desire to protect you from yourself
because I only want you to have the best you possibly can
you deserve it
you gave me most of myself
the best parts of me
are tied up mostly with you
it hurts to know that you’re my world
but I'm not yours even though you love me
the last elements of my childhood are slowly dissolving
washing away bit by bit as I let go of more and more
so I can get a little bit older
to match the image you have of me
but no matter how hard I run
I still end up a little girl with a scraped knee
because I ran too fast and didn’t look where I was going
and my breath just couldn’t keep up with me
and I went down
tripped on the finish line of childhood that you’ve broken through
which I’ve still got miles to go before I reach

All the tears I’ve cried
could make up the ocean that separates us
the difference between a young girl
and a young woman
no matter how much I want to bridge it
I can’t
and the more I cry the farther away you get
until it seems I barely ever even see you
because I'm your anchor
miles away at the bottom where you cut me off
because I kept holding you back
from your dreams
your hopes
your plans
until I was almost glad to let go
a rusty heap not ready for the world
that you somehow got to living in

I was ready to wave goodbye as you sailed away
amidst promises to write, to call, to keep in touch
with the little sister you couldn’t help but sometimes forget
I was ready to be just the kid you left at home
dreaming of the day she could join you again
as an equal
a real friend
I was ready to accept that at the end of the day
I'm still just a little sister tagging along in awe of real life
a distant fragment of thoughts it seems I’ll never reach
I was ready

Funny how fighting for your childhood
makes something inside so infinitely older
I wish I could say I was sorry
because I can’t accept your perfect isn’t mine
but I can’t
and I'm not

[ScarletMornings]

please comment??

[Ramona]

There are such AWESOME concepts in this! I'm sad to say, though, that I can't relate, for I am the oldest. But my little brother and I are best friends. I really love the second, foouth, and fifth stanzas, because it really is such a good description of (what I think) being the youngest is like.

Ramona

[ScarletMornings]

okay, i completely changed the last stanza because i didn't like it and then i changed the second to last stanza some. so here it is. revised.

[cry,crayola.]

i think i may cry. its probably cause i know you and i know rachel and how you two are; then this. i know what happened (or what you've told me) so it helps relate to what it's about. all in all, my dear, i must say its extrordinary.

[writingfool73]

It is fantastic I love it I don't think there is anyway you could make it better it was so good

[ScarletMornings]

thank you so much. this poem really means a lot to me.

[ScarletMornings]

okay i started to repost this but then i realized i'd already done so. so would anyone want to give me some more crit on it? just out of curiosity?