|
|
Post by Confusion on Sept 4, 2005 14:19:33 GMT -8
Look:
Beyond the valley
Beneath emerald gazes
Deep into the eyes
Eminent wonder
Of all I wish to ponder
Cry me to dreams
You, me
Dusty maze
Awaken tender blood tears
Standing before
Cloud filled mirrors
Gaze
These days are for the wounded
These words are for the dead
|
|
|
|
Post by Confusion on Sept 4, 2005 14:20:09 GMT -8
i just wrote this in the last few minutes so not sure how good it is.... pleeeeease comment!
|
|
|
|
Post by Queen of Rain on Sept 5, 2005 7:46:04 GMT -8
Really niiice wording! so beautiful. rhythm is weird from 3rd line.. maybe u shud check that.. love your writing now, uve improved soo much
|
|
|
|
Post by Confusion on Sept 5, 2005 8:22:24 GMT -8
thank youuuu!! k, ill check 3rd line!
|
|
|
|
Post by Confusion on Sept 5, 2005 8:23:32 GMT -8
3rd line slightly edited
|
|
|
|
Post by ScarletMornings on Sept 5, 2005 20:21:34 GMT -8
ooooo, i like it, i like it a lot! (i have green eyes, wink wink, wink wink)
|
|
|
|
Post by Confusion on Sept 6, 2005 7:15:31 GMT -8
thank youu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was sorta written about someone i like.. he has green eyes and they are really shockingly green...
also im sorta on a thing bout eyes atm... like a theme... an angel's eye (the other 'eye' poem ive done so far) and green eyes... hopefully some more 'eye' poems soon!
|
|
|
|
Post by ScarletMornings on Sept 6, 2005 15:15:29 GMT -8
ooo i'm excited, i like eyes, there fascinating. it seems everyone's eyes has some interesting thing and stuff, i don't know. hey, would you comment my poem, i burn? please? only one other person has, and that was our beloved the karate sneeze, who PUT IT IN THE HOF! NUMBER THREE!! YESSSS!
|
|
|
|
Post by Confusion on Sept 7, 2005 9:06:26 GMT -8
thankyou, you're very nice! im gonna put your karma up!!!!!!!!! yup sure ill comment on it, ill do it in the hall of fame thingy, then it'll go up to the top  you are so talented all you guys in hall of fame, i wish i could get in there one day! |
|
|
|
Post by Confusion on Sept 10, 2005 4:48:17 GMT -8
i think green eyes are very magical looking!
|
|
you are so talented all you guys in hall of fame, i wish i could get in there one day!