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Post by Confusion on Jul 10, 2005 3:59:05 GMT -8
Infatuate me
Crawling snakes
Beneath the skin
Beneath the surface
Thumping heartbeats become
You
Silent dreams
Today broke through
For you
To kill
Us
Daydreaming boys
Thought wrong was right
To kill our children
Deep down
In this blistering cold
Now one Knew
The dreaded things evil minds
Would do
Kill
Killing
Killed
Dead
Together we remain
Our tears
Our woven picture
Your misjudged clam to fame
Our friends
Our children
Our neighbours
Our love
Be brave
Break through
Pray for us
On the other side
Wait for us
On the other side
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Post by Confusion on Jul 10, 2005 4:01:26 GMT -8
This is about the awful terroist attack in london on thursday 7th July 2005. It's about us being strong and staying together, not allowing ourselves to be scared or defeated.
May the 49 dead victims rest in peace.
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Post by Confusion on Jul 10, 2005 4:02:05 GMT -8
I don't know if this poem is any good, i was very upset when i wrote it... please tell me your thoughts on this
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Post by Ramona on Jul 10, 2005 10:30:29 GMT -8
I think it is incredibly good. It shows your emotions beautifully, and the language you used was so powerful.
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Post by Confusion on Jul 10, 2005 11:02:55 GMT -8
realli?!?!?!  wow, thankyou!!! |
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Post by ScarletMornings on Jul 10, 2005 19:42:44 GMT -8
wow, i soo didn't even know about that attack until today. i was so upset, and i think you convey the feeling wonderfully. it is a very emotional and vibrant poem. wonderful job.
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Post by ScarletMornings on Jul 10, 2005 19:43:50 GMT -8
although, the first stanza just seems a little out of place, but maybe its just me. . . .
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Post by Confusion on Jul 11, 2005 1:46:58 GMT -8
thanx! I knew about the attack straight away, living near London. Was so frightening that i had friends and family in London at the time and couldn't get in contact to find out if they were okay, luckily they were, yet 49 people were killed in the tragic event.
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Post by Confusion on Jul 11, 2005 1:49:39 GMT -8
i duno.... the first stanza doesn't seem out of place to me, but i have a weird mind so that's probably why!
Infatuate me
Crawling snakes
Beneath the skin
Beneath the surface
Thumping heartbeats become
You
That stanza is ment to be about the terroists being brainwashed to believe it is right to do these things... and about not knowing what someone is like underneath just from the surface, eg no one looks like a terroist.
Does that make more sense or do you think i should edit the first stanza?
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Post by Confusion on Jul 11, 2005 1:51:18 GMT -8
Is it just me or is thursday generally a day of disaster and horrible events?
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Post by roxiecheerchika on Jul 11, 2005 10:47:57 GMT -8
Your poem has so much emotion in it..it really lets the reader feel what you where feeling, think how you where thinking. The words and adjective's and ways of describing it really made it all the more better. It made me realize more what an impact the attacks could effect me living in the US by seeing how you where effected...I think it is a wonderful poem.
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Post by Confusion on Jul 11, 2005 11:17:20 GMT -8
thankyou very much!!
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wow, thankyou!!!