Shatter

ScarletMornings
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http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278

Posts: 1,061

Shatter Jun 28, 2005 22:58:14 GMT -8

Quote

Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 28, 2005 22:58:14 GMT -8

Innocence
drapes me
like a white cloak
virginity
my eyes are pure
closed to the passion,
the rain of desire
drizzling your body
My ivory tower
is water-proof

Yet a voice
sensual
bedazzling
drifts between the
cracks of my tower
the folds of my cloak
and drifts through my ears
seducing me down the stairs
of my ivory tower
whispering things
I shouldn’t know
my hand caresses the door
like a lover
startling my innocence

I push open the door
and my lashes lift
only the tiniest bit
my cloak shifts
I can still hear
that voice
calling me forward
my feet take in
the velvet impressions of seduction
the green velvet grass
the altar of seduction
innocence the sacrifice

I feel the warm rain upon my face
falling from heaven (your lips)
a storm of kisses
washing the innocence
in the warm rain of desire
heating the ruby blood
flowing inside of me
and I can feel your hands
tracing where none have been
shivers of transgression
tangoing through my frame
my eyes widen slightly
and my cloak flutters
in a fierce wave of need

A tide of feeling crashes
violently shaking the ivory tower
forlorn in the background
forgotten in the gathering storm
the rain pours now
shattering the gathering puddles
my cloak slowly slips off
down unto the velvet ground
I follow
you follow
the rain follows
I can feel the heat of you
like the sun in a rainstorm
the rays piercing my lashes
the rain dampening my body
and I'm waiting for something
just out of reach . . .

The ivory tower shatters
the puddles shatter
the cloak shatters
all into satin slivers
my eyes fly open
and
I
shatter
into your arms
and all the satin pieces drift
into a blanket of sin
quietly covering
my shattered innocence

Last Edit: Jun 29, 2005 18:50:19 GMT -8 by ScarletMornings

"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave,
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."

-- Edna St. Vincent Millay,
from "Dirge Without Music"

Go to the link and read it!

Queen of Rain
Senior Writer

I'm Swedish, that should explain it all..

Posts: 614

Shatter Jun 29, 2005 2:30:30 GMT -8

Quote

Post by Queen of Rain on Jun 29, 2005 2:30:30 GMT -8

AMAZING, this was the most beautiful image of lost innocence ive ever read, that its long and you sitll made me read it all shows how well written it is.. the end is so perfect.. the image of lost virginity and innocence can represent the entire world and therefore makes the theme excellent.. 2nd to last stanza is a bit weaker than the others.. other than that i think it will b perfect if it is just a tiny bit condensed in parts..

A ship in a harbour is safe, but that's not what a ship is built for

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Shatter Jun 29, 2005 7:51:17 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on Jun 29, 2005 7:51:17 GMT -8 i agree, this is wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So different to your other pieces, yet still great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My fav bit is: I follow you follow the rain follows
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Pseudomuse Senior Writer We went, we saw, we didn't quite conquer. Posts: 489	Shatter Jun 29, 2005 10:47:43 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Pseudomuse on Jun 29, 2005 10:47:43 GMT -8 beautiful poem dear. all I can see that I would change was this "only the tiniest bit and my cloak shifts I can still hear" I think it sounds better if and is before my cloak shifts rather than the I can still here. cheers PM
	You'll never be quite the same again after that Bible you've been thumping all these years finally has enough and beats the living s**t out of you. - Horoscope in "The Onion" I thought you just said we were done doing things the stupid way. If you want to call me that, smile. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

Ramona
Administration

Posts: 1,323

Shatter Jun 29, 2005 13:25:16 GMT -8

Quote

Post by Ramona on Jun 29, 2005 13:25:16 GMT -8

This is a most beautiful poem. It has wonderful imagery and the repetition is cinsistent, yet changing every time. Very different from your other pieces that I've read, yet still fantastic. I'd like to put this one in teh Hall of Fame, if I have your permission.

"Hold my head inside your hands.
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears.
For you I've waited all these years.

For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come and set me free.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me."

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Shatter Jun 29, 2005 18:07:50 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 29, 2005 18:07:50 GMT -8 I WOULD LOVE THAT!
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Shatter Jun 29, 2005 18:50:40 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 29, 2005 18:50:40 GMT -8 okay, pm, i took out the and.
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

cry,crayola. Senior Writer yeah, i'm lame. Posts: 569	Shatter Jun 30, 2005 10:31:23 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by cry,crayola. on Jun 30, 2005 10:31:23 GMT -8 sara, u make me soooooooo jealous, my love. you have no idea how hard it is for me to have such a talented friend. excelent work, babe!
	hopless stray prone to wander. crycrayola!, warrior; lest the blind lead the blind.

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Shatter Jun 30, 2005 11:56:06 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on Jun 30, 2005 11:56:06 GMT -8 hehe, she does indeed have a tremendious talent!!!
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Shatter Jun 30, 2005 14:48:15 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 30, 2005 14:48:15 GMT -8 aww. thanks guys!
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 28, 2005 22:58:14 GMT -8

Post by Queen of Rain on Jun 29, 2005 2:30:30 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on Jun 29, 2005 7:51:17 GMT -8

Post by Pseudomuse on Jun 29, 2005 10:47:43 GMT -8

Post by Ramona on Jun 29, 2005 13:25:16 GMT -8

Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 29, 2005 18:07:50 GMT -8

Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 29, 2005 18:50:40 GMT -8

Post by cry,crayola. on Jun 30, 2005 10:31:23 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on Jun 30, 2005 11:56:06 GMT -8

Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 30, 2005 14:48:15 GMT -8