Summer hearts

[Queen of Rain]

Summer hearts

Young and wild,
lets turn this world
U p s i d e d o w n
n w o d e d i s p U
We are beautiful
my dear
in this mirror
It is life,
today
lets drive til sunset
lets bath in the fountains
we’re young and wild
We’re beautiful tonight
This is summer in the city
freedom lies
behind this mirror,
Tonight
lets break it
lets break it
lets play music that no one
will ever ever forget
We are beautiful tonight
because we know it
This is summer
Tonight
Two hearts
So young and wild

editing for the moment..
very spur of the moment inspired by a swedish song (the wild and young thing).. but i want this to be a bit deeper than that im not sure i really made it though..

[Confusion]

whoooooo, it's summer!!!!!!!!! sunny and lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no, i dont think the poem needs making deeper, to me this says lovely simple summer love, i think it should stay as it is!!!!! good job.

whooooooooo, roll on the sun!!!!!

[Queen of Rain]

ok thanx, maybe ill have to fix a little then cos i wanted it to be read more into..

[Ramona]

Whoa, this poem is so radical! I liked how you skipped form thought to thought and repeated things, it made it seem more summery for some reason. The imagery was great, the only thing I think might have broken the rhythm a little would have to be 'my friend.' To me it just seemed like someone tacked it on, not to say that I would change it, but it could be changed.

[Queen of Rain]

ok thanks!!