It's Just Raining

[ScarletMornings]

it seems a lot of people have been writing about rain lately, so I thought i'd add my own thoughts about rain. this was an idea i was gonna use for a song, but i can't sing worth anything so . . .
* * * * *

did you know when you go
it’s not really the perfect ending?
That the rivulets of charm
dripping
down your face
don’t blur my eyes
any more than the tears
you put there?
I'm so acquainted with them
that I can see straight through them

(my vision is very clear now)

to your truths
when I assumed
you were lying

and I swear to God,
because he’s the only one left
to talk to,
that I never cried
I just misted
like some mysterious
sprite
nymph
fairy
elf
of the woods

would you mind dancing with me

(in my mist, of course)

I’ve heard tears (mist)
make a beautiful pond
for the
fairy queen
to glide across

(it’s the reflection, you know)

what the hell
I'm not missing much
on may day
fairy queen
not may queen
my ribbon won’t be missed
on the maypole

(but I don’t actually dance)

but it’s raining
my head tips back
of its own will
your footprints
leaving marks
in the rivulets of your charm
no, the rain
be buried in the rain
sunk in the water
stepping up raindrops
to the gates of heaven

(maybe you can help pour it out)

God, grant me peace
please
this rain on my face
strips my soul bare
send angels to wrap me
warm
in their ruffled wings

(did you know they have black wings sometimes?)

listen, the heavenly choirs sing
a lullaby
rock me on gentle winds

but this rain
won’t stop
will it?
just keeps whittling away
at my poise
but I'm not crying

(promise)

it’s just raining
raining
the color
of your eyes


you left me dark clouds

(love is a storm, I guess)

but I carry those clouds
in my eyes
while you cry out your sins
and I catch them
you always were
an angel
mine
I stood on the ground
and watched you
fluttering your black wings
the rain falls

(instead of an angel)

the color of your eyes
darkening mine
to clouds
as they pool there
because I just can’t seem
to take my eyes off you
your black wings


the fairies
nymphs
sprites
elves
come out to dance
they rejoice in the rain

(like when I saw your eyes)

sinuous slide
of grace and beauty
I always seemed to lack
you never minded

( but angels are sweet)

wish I would have saw that
but if wishes were horses
beggars would be John Wayne
and cowboys of the rain
because my wishes
are around me
tiny firefly glows
illumination in the rain
highlighting the
fairies
nymphs
sprites
elves
that I wish I could be
for my angel
with black wings

(one unhuman for another)

but the divine dance in the rain
singing

(thunder is a bass, isn’t it?)

the soprano lightning strikes
out of the mouths of the celestial beings
hidden in the clouds
sprinkling mere mortals
with drops of heaven
and a black feather
funny weather
we’re having
isn’t it?

I wish you would just
step back
retrace your footprints
imprinted in the standing puddles

(they don’t ripple when the raindrops touch)

I knew there was something
unusual about those eyes

(those footprints, too)

wrap me up
in your ebony wings
the fairy queen tires
of this worship in the rain

(I told you I couldn’t dance)

cradle me
or I’ll catch cold

(dancing in the rain will do that to you)

and if you do hold me
I might admit that
maybe, maybe,
I did cry

(only for my ebony angel)

if you’ll just land
here in the rainwater
we’ll go splash
at the end of the street
there’s always a big puddle
big enough for angels
and the water’s cool
on bare ankles
and wings

then you can dry
this fairy queen off
in your arms this time
and hold her
brush the damp strands
of rain drenched hair
off my face

(and press a kiss there)

because you can see
inside the graceless woman
to the little girl
with fairy tales
in her eyes
stupid rain
washed away my hiding place

you looked surprised
when I slipped my hand in yours

(but I wasn't mad)

I knew angels didn't lie
the little girl was just scared
and the rain had let her out

(it was raining long before you left)

snuggled up to you
cocooned in arms and wings both
why were you shocked?
didn’t God tell his angel?
I love you

(especially when it rains)

and maybe I was crying
but now I'm not
the little girl
doesn’t mind the rain anymore
it’s just raining

(I really do swear)

[ScarletMornings]

PLEASE I AM DESPERATE FOR COMMENTS!!! IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?!?!

[Pseudomuse]

no dear...I swear I commented on this...ahh I'm loosing my mind in my old age. It was a very nice poem, a little long, but beautiful imagery. I'm not saying you should shorten it. rggg I had such better comments the other day. It's just that I'm pretty tired and reading long poetry isn't for me at this hour. But I enjoyed it.

cheers PM

[ScarletMornings]

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You could have told me it sucked for all i cared. i just wanted someone to tell me something. i love you. i really do. thank you.

[Confusion]

wow, it's realli good! it's longer than most poems, but this i think is one of the things that makes it very different and unique! i love the way you explain each section in the brackets, it makes the poem very clear without taking away from the magical effect the poem has, keeping facts short and seperate. Good job!

[Pseudomuse]

I'm working on a proper crit of this. At the earliest you'll have it tomorrow morning.

sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite
PM

[ScarletMornings]

I'm on the edge of my seat!

[ScarletMornings]

I just wanted to even out my post number to 240. i'm going for being a pipe dreaming god. it's hard work!

[Confusion]

lol, im always trying to get mine to the next one! how many posts do you have to make to be ask me for help, i know waht im doing?

[ScarletMornings]

i think around 200. it's hard.

[Confusion]

whooo!!! gonna be a while til i get there then! im only on 66, well 67 when this is posted

i guess i havent been a member that long though.

[ScarletMornings]

i think it took me a couple months to get up that high. i don't know. if i were you, i'd just post over a bunch of random things.

[ScarletMornings]

like earlier, just wanted to get post at top. hahaha. comment, please.

[ScarletMornings]

and yeah, i have more than one page of comments. woo hoo, a record.

[Pseudomuse]

here's the proper crit.