Petals of Remembrance

[behindTHEmask]

Petals of Remembrance.

The rose petals dancing across the floor, lie
The beauty is unseen by the world
Hidden behind the crimson color
And lost behind the curled edges
That cry out defeat.

Floating atop the bath water
Lies the pieces that we lost
Falling backwards to the floor
To defend our love
And rationalize this hate.

We’re two lost souls
Bedridden to the room that confine us;
That holds us past all others
That refuses to let us go -
Let us leave this life despised.

We’re screaming against the silence
Hoping to be heard
Throughout every corner and crevice
This room obtains
And the world upholds.

We rushed to each other
Wanting to breathe clarity
To feel the moment untouched
By anyone but us
And hoped it would last forever.

Eternity never granted us its shadow
The sun never revealed its rays
To brighten the eyes
And purge the gray
Clouding our minds from reality.

The forgotten smile comes but once
When I remember the moment upon meeting
When I forgot the world
And only saw you
Walking against the rain.

I’ll forget you not
With the rose petals locked in the same place
Undisturbed for fear upon touching
Everything will return
To how it was before we met.

[Queen of Rain]

great diction darling! wonderful alliterations and wow the beauty in this poem! it would gain a lot if you healed it from the WORD - disesase, meaning took away that every line starts with a capital leter cos it makes the poem quite hard to get tru...

[behindTHEmask]

I'm glad you enjoyed the diction, but I have no idea what you just said. . .I'm sorry. I'm just confused.

[frontpagenews]

I absolutely love this poem, and I have to disagree with Rain I like the capitalization and it wasn't hard to read, much easier than the comments atleast.

[behindTHEmask]

Thank you, Sam. I'm glad you liked it.

[ScarletMornings]

I loved it. Tons. Adored it, in fact. But don't tell Pseudomuse. I'm PM's number 1 fan. and i'm not sure about the capitilization, i didn't really notice it so I wouldn't worry.

[Queen of Rain]

what i said was I like your diction (choice of words) and your alliterations (when words start with the same sounds so that you create a nice rhythm)... also that I found that the capitalisation made it hard to read... and other thatn that how your poem was great..

[Pseudomuse]

bittersweet and very lovely. I agree with queen about the capitalization, it makes it kind of hard to read. But otherwise great job.

PM