Post by behindTHEmask on Dec 20, 2004 14:03:14 GMT -8
I try and catch my breath, but it never returns to its normal pace. The one pace I have grown accustomed to. They’re short. Dots scatter my vision as I slip away from the bitter reality. Struggling, I gasp in attempt to save myself. I try calling for help, but my voice is shot. It’s disappeared, just as my dreams have vanished. So this is how it ends…<br>
Sirens and lights of blue and red surround me. A plastic mask covers my face, pumping oxygen through my system. People in an assortment of colors encircle me, talking in terms I can’t understand. They’re taunting me, mocking my stupidity. Rocking back and forth I try to set myself free. I try and escape the shackles holding my down. They sustain me. A bright light flashes, and my eyes become heavy and fall shut.
I wake, scanning my blue eyes over the cold hospital walls--grim. Sadness falls on me. A tear moistens my eye. The TV like box beside me tells me I’m still alive. I think it’s broken. From where I sit, I’m in hell. An IV was poked through a vein in my left arm. Stupid thing. I can’t lift my opposing arm to rip it out. It’s to weak. I’m to weak.
A petite, soft-spoken nurse approaches, checking the mechanical devices around me. She smiles politely as I watch her every move. I blink occasionally, though not finding the need to. My eyes are dampened from the shadows cast down on me. Her actions make me want to scream, but she’s my only contact to the real world.
As she leaves, she shuts the curtain, cutting me off from the outside world. I turn and my eyes fall upon them, and all the thoughts and fears travel back to me. I knew there was a reason for this. I wasn’t here by accident.
I bite my bottom lip, holding back the emotional pain. “Without you, I’m nothing. I know, I promised to live for you, but it’s just too much. Half of myself has disappeared and I can no longer support myself to stand. I’m sorry.” Yanking the chord from the respiratory machine, I listen to myself die. I hear the monitor line go straight. Doctor’s rush in, but I don’t want to be saved. Without you, life isn’t worth living. I surrender.
Sirens and lights of blue and red surround me. A plastic mask covers my face, pumping oxygen through my system. People in an assortment of colors encircle me, talking in terms I can’t understand. They’re taunting me, mocking my stupidity. Rocking back and forth I try to set myself free. I try and escape the shackles holding my down. They sustain me. A bright light flashes, and my eyes become heavy and fall shut.
I wake, scanning my blue eyes over the cold hospital walls--grim. Sadness falls on me. A tear moistens my eye. The TV like box beside me tells me I’m still alive. I think it’s broken. From where I sit, I’m in hell. An IV was poked through a vein in my left arm. Stupid thing. I can’t lift my opposing arm to rip it out. It’s to weak. I’m to weak.
A petite, soft-spoken nurse approaches, checking the mechanical devices around me. She smiles politely as I watch her every move. I blink occasionally, though not finding the need to. My eyes are dampened from the shadows cast down on me. Her actions make me want to scream, but she’s my only contact to the real world.
As she leaves, she shuts the curtain, cutting me off from the outside world. I turn and my eyes fall upon them, and all the thoughts and fears travel back to me. I knew there was a reason for this. I wasn’t here by accident.
I bite my bottom lip, holding back the emotional pain. “Without you, I’m nothing. I know, I promised to live for you, but it’s just too much. Half of myself has disappeared and I can no longer support myself to stand. I’m sorry.” Yanking the chord from the respiratory machine, I listen to myself die. I hear the monitor line go straight. Doctor’s rush in, but I don’t want to be saved. Without you, life isn’t worth living. I surrender.
