Meterology

[Queen of Rain]

Meterology

It rains under trees
a monsoon came a summer’s morning
it exited and now -
the wind makes the former shelters
into showers

It is funny how things can change

Sour fruit ripens
To rotten in eternity
Ripe for a moment
Then smell of underworld stays

Forests turn
To an ocean bed
Where do the birds go?
Do they hide under trees?
Still raining
after the monsoon

[jackfrost]

Hey! I liked the tone of your poem a lot! It was really interesting and (personally) I thought it was quite cool!

jack frost

[louise]

I really like the idea and the verse about the fruits. The rest of the poem, well, it sounds strange. I think you should make a whole sentense of the last line of your poem (It is still raining after the monsoon), that way it will make your poem more a whole thing... And maybe take a look at the other sentenses and rephrase them? I don't know, as I said, it feels strange, like it isn't a poem, but a collection sentenses, know what I mean?