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Post by BloodyTears on Jan 19, 2005 18:37:32 GMT -8
Red Eagle
The eagle has given us lies Pulled the wool over our eyes We all wanted to believe it was true That we were to blind to see the truth Freedom is an impossible dream A joke, a myth, a fairy tale, a childish belief Free will has been stripped from us Free choice has been taken Only to receive what they feel we need People have died to have freedom The freedom we never got Their sacrifices have been made in vein The blood that was shed has tainted our eagle Changing the once pure eagle to red The red eagle that spreads illusion of freedom The wings of the eagle that gave us 'freedom' Have been broken and bound We can't marry anyone we want We can't be different without discrimination Freedom has never been granted to us Merely freedom with shackles
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Post by Sparks on Jan 21, 2005 13:15:39 GMT -8
I like the opinions in here. What I get out of it is that you don't feel the United States (you don't say it, but the eagle leads me to believe.) is as free as people like to think. In the end, I agree with you. As for the writing, there are some places where wording could be changed around a bit to make it easier to read. Also, it seems like you say the same thing about 10 times in a row, just in different ways. But enough with the criticism part. I liked the message that this poem is supposed to portray, and with a bit of work, it could be quite good.
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Post by quilleh on Jan 21, 2005 13:44:48 GMT -8
I agree, this piece does seem a tad repetative, but I AGREE with the message 100% Our goverments suck...bad. Our Nation died when we created political parties. I'm leaving the counrty. "Meerly freedom with shackles." EX-CELLL-ENT Line.
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Post by BloodyTears on Jan 24, 2005 12:35:49 GMT -8
Thanks. Yes, now that you say that, it does get repetative. I shall change that around a bit.
And yes, it does mean America. I hate the our government. They put too many limits on our freedom. It pisses me off.
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