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Post by quilleh on Jan 17, 2005 15:43:49 GMT -8
Dependence,
It just takes once.
The pain of blade,
Matchless to that of heed.
Unnoticed sensitivity,
Annihilated in seclusion.
Allured loneliness,
Now a fetish of fashion,
But seldom know.
Cheers to the truly regretful,
Taunted in loving you,
Of smoke,
And of wintergreen.
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Post by Pseudomuse on Jan 19, 2005 16:29:43 GMT -8
i really liked this, the imagery in it was dramatic and your word choice was "exegente" as my and mine would say. though this sentance is a bit tricky to understand at first reading: Matchless to that of heed.
my favorite line was this: Now a fetish of fashion,
the alliteration gave it some spice.
keep up. PM
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Post by quilleh on Jan 19, 2005 18:35:54 GMT -8
Thank you, my lufferly P.M. I so enjoy reading your crits. It maketh me happy! Now I'm off to read some of your work...
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Post by ScarletMornings on Jan 27, 2005 14:52:50 GMT -8
Well, I can't really compete with that, because I'm not that great of critic. I just really enjoyed this, it made me stop and think, and really focus my attention on this, which I really appreciate in a poem. Great word usage, and I love how your poems don't drag on, but are short and sweet, and use really neat words. I guess that's all I have to say? Lovely job.
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 27, 2005 16:37:26 GMT -8
Gorgeous.
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Post by quilleh on Jan 27, 2005 18:06:51 GMT -8
Thanks so very much, all of you. For awhile I was afraid others were confused by my word usage, but I guess they were just a bunch o' dumbasses, heh?I really appreciate all your comments. *snug*
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Post by ScarletMornings on Jan 27, 2005 19:27:01 GMT -8
Your word usage is perfect the way it is.
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