Imperfect

[Ramona]

Just worte this, it's about someone I know.

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Crooked teeth in a squinting smile,
Hair tousled from a spin,
Fingers just a bit too long,
You’re too late to begin.

Flawed knees on bony legs,
And manners unrefined,
Got a kind of goofy laugh,
You tend to fall behind.

When I sing myself to sleep,
You are my laughing song,
You don’t have to be perfect,
Just so you’ll belong.

[Confusion]

I love the last stanza! I think that is perfect! I realli like this, however think it would be even better if there was another stanza, before the third one though as i think that is excellent to end on. you could include more emotion to an added stanza maybe, if not its good like this too!

[Ramona]

Thank you, I basically started with the end which started with the phrase "When I sing myself to sleep, you are my song." That's why it seems a bit short, and I hope I do get around to adding in another stanza, even though i always say I'm going to extend pretty much every poem i write. Ah, well. Thanks again.

[Queen of Rain]

amaziiing.. the contradictions paint such an amazing picture, perfected with the emotions in the last stanza... tis´ great..