Smiles in my winter's gaze

Confusion
Senior Writer

Posts: 518

Smiles in my winter's gaze Jun 3, 2005 7:04:58 GMT -8

Quote

Post by Confusion on Jun 3, 2005 7:04:58 GMT -8

You see her eyes
Only her eyes
She smiles through
Her eyes

You see the gentle
Formation of creases
Wrinkles
Supple as silk
A light breeze
She stops to stare

See my dubious fixation
I love you
Mostly your eyes
When your smile shines through your eyes
And through my deep winter gaze

I love your eyes
I love you

Last Edit: Jun 4, 2005 13:56:28 GMT -8 by Confusion

"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Smiles in my winter's gaze Jun 3, 2005 7:05:47 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on Jun 3, 2005 7:05:47 GMT -8 smileys! annny comments?
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Smiles in my winter's gaze Jun 4, 2005 10:10:21 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 4, 2005 10:10:21 GMT -8 i loved it! nice imagery
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Smiles in my winter's gaze Jun 4, 2005 11:59:40 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on Jun 4, 2005 11:59:40 GMT -8 thanx!!!!!!!!!!
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Queen of Rain
Senior Writer

I'm Swedish, that should explain it all..

Posts: 614

Smiles in my winter's gaze Jun 4, 2005 12:31:26 GMT -8

Quote

Post by Queen of Rain on Jun 4, 2005 12:31:26 GMT -8

beautiful imagery! it hink you should swithc order of the two last sentences to amek it more powerful.. ooo your language is so amaazzzing

(as i commetn a lot on your writings lately (becasue i adore them or find them appropriate for constructive critisism) i hope you could comment on for example my text Lolitas, cos it needs critisism)

A ship in a harbour is safe, but that's not what a ship is built for

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Smiles in my winter's gaze Jun 4, 2005 13:57:51 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on Jun 4, 2005 13:57:51 GMT -8 thanx a lot! yup, sure thing i will comment on your stuff!... not sure how useful i will be, but ill try my best!
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Post by Confusion on Jun 3, 2005 7:04:58 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on Jun 3, 2005 7:05:47 GMT -8

Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 4, 2005 10:10:21 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on Jun 4, 2005 11:59:40 GMT -8

Post by Queen of Rain on Jun 4, 2005 12:31:26 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on Jun 4, 2005 13:57:51 GMT -8