Titian Dew

[Pseudomuse]

The limey drips of water collect in rusted buckets and
	echo the passions we once had
	reverberating off each other
	meshing all into one singular moment
	when your love was all I needed
No more will hand and hand do
	Since the pain of ripped, open, aching souls
Once, I told you in the dark of night, ferns
tickling our extremities (when we were one)
	be careful for you tred on
	my dreams and you replied that
	there was no separation between us
but there is, for you have trampled
the fragile shards of grass [of me]
	as if as one is gone forever	gone forever
You still smile and laugh and tell me
	never to worry
and I’m beginning to understand your ignorance
	as you suck my dust-bunny dreams
	away
we are not one and in the hollowed 
	courtyard I watch as
Limey drips of water collect in rusted buckets
	So like us; rusted and calloused with time
 

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[Queen of Rain]

I really like this.. even though i feel its abit long somehow... but very good work!!

[saralioness]

Coooll....it reminds me of queenofrain's writing, just a little less kinky. Cool though.

[Sparks]

I don't think it's too long at all.
But that's just my opinion.
The only thing I would change is the reference to dustbunnies...somehow it doesn't go with the whole light green light rain grassy stony courtyard theme going on.
I like the combining of the relationship and the setting, it sets it off.