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Post by Pseudomuse on Feb 10, 2005 9:58:59 GMT -8
The limey drips of water collect in rusted buckets and echo the passions we once had reverberating off each other meshing all into one singular moment when your love was all I needed No more will hand and hand do Since the pain of ripped, open, aching souls Once, I told you in the dark of night, ferns tickling our extremities (when we were one) be careful for you tred on my dreams and you replied that there was no separation between us but there is, for you have trampled the fragile shards of grass [of me] as if as one is gone forever gone forever You still smile and laugh and tell me never to worry and I’m beginning to understand your ignorance as you suck my dust-bunny dreams away we are not one and in the hollowed courtyard I watch as Limey drips of water collect in rusted buckets So like us; rusted and calloused with time
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Post by Queen of Rain on Feb 10, 2005 10:14:58 GMT -8
I really like this.. even though i feel its abit long somehow... but very good work!!
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Post by saralioness on Feb 10, 2005 14:57:44 GMT -8
Coooll....it reminds me of queenofrain's writing, just a little less kinky. Cool though.
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Post by Sparks on Feb 12, 2005 8:12:44 GMT -8
I don't think it's too long at all. But that's just my opinion. The only thing I would change is the reference to dustbunnies...somehow it doesn't go with the whole light green light rain grassy stony courtyard theme going on. I like the combining of the relationship and the setting, it sets it off.
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