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Post by saralioness on Feb 7, 2005 16:23:03 GMT -8
The skies are blood-red. The earth reeks of death, But they aren't dead. They crawl from their graves, Dirt falling off in dark, wormy clods. Legless men walk without use of staves, Staggering along till they crawl like the dogs. Feeling morbid today. named it after that movie. Very scary it was. The new one, I mean.
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Post by Ramona on Feb 7, 2005 17:25:53 GMT -8
It was kind of overused, but not in poem form. Good rhyming scheme.
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Post by louise on Feb 8, 2005 1:44:41 GMT -8
I don't know.... It doesn't do me anything... I assume it is supposed to be scary, but I don't feel it. And I really don't like the sentence 'But they aren't dead'. The worduse is off for some reason. The rest is okay, but not great
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Post by Queen of Rain on Feb 8, 2005 10:16:55 GMT -8
i like morbidity, howeer this could be improved by the use of contrasts, it would eohasise the tone much more. i like the rhytm tho...
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Post by saralioness on Feb 8, 2005 15:11:42 GMT -8
Yeah, I know. It's not my best work, and it could use a lot of work. But I was just piddling around, and it sort of happened. Its what I get for "letting it happen" Its sort of like pre-marital X, you just can't let poems like this happen. So...sorry for making you read that.
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