becoming mer-people.

[cry,crayola.]

Let's go exploring in an underwater world.

C'mon.
We can build Atlantis.

And the seas will be ours to claim,
more vast than the expanse of the sky.

That can be ours too,
while we steal a peak above
and cast wishes on stars,
as we real them from their haven
into our domain,
possessing those like the bandits we are.

Since we're around,
wanna see the sights?
Pulled by the waxing moon,
we'll glide on by, baby.
We'll see it all.

So let me take you on adventure;
masters above the conquistadors
and we'll take a little trip.
[take a little trip.]

I hope you don't mind.
Oh, how wonderful life will be.

i'm not really sure.
i wish i could've written it while i first had the idea and all of these clever phrases. not really sure where it took me... if anything at all, i would like to direct attention to the line about "bandits" i'm not sure on how it fits. it could easily be ommitted and make sense, but i'm wary if it has any affect at all.

[ScarletMornings]

i liked this, but something is just not quite there yet...or something. i see its potential and i like it right now, but it's not just...umm...poppin'? lol but the fifth stanza, except for the line "pulled by the waxing moon" (which i adore btw) seems really out of place or something. but i like the thing with the bandits...i would suggest you tie it in more is all.

[Ramona]

I like the idea of it, but maybe if it wasn't done in so casual a tone?
I love the "bandits" line, though, the fact that you used "bandits" in a poetic way is extremely impressive.

and cast wishes on stars,
as we real them from their haven
into our domain,
possessing those like the bandits we are.
My favorite part. I think using "cast" in the first line is genius; it brings to mind thoughts of fishing and the ocean. But I think "domain" doesn't really fit the mood of the rest of the poem.

[Ramona]

Oh, I forgot, the "Atlantis" reference is beautiful.