Let Down Your Hair

[ScarletMornings]

something rather different, hope you enjoy.

I tell myself she was selfish
and he loveed her too much to care about me
but I wonder every day why i wonder about two cowards
since they gave me away and i left

I was their precious little saving sacrificial grace


I have so much time to waste
and too much time to do it in
nothing better to do but brush my hair
and dream

and wait for her to come and play at a mother’s loving


She shouts and echoes her presence
up to me over a vertical brick path
and I fancy a thousand little munchkins
running it up to me

fanatical old witch would eat them I'm sure


A tiresome task to let the “ladder” down
she’s so fat my head feels like its falling off
I wish it would
and take her with it

surely death holds more interest than a round stone room


Suddenly he comes to me in a wave of lover’s heat
and somehow even though
I sing like a dying cat
he swears the voice of an angel floated him up to me

even though a headache tells me otherwise


I scream
he screams
and distantly she screams, damnit
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!”

I already have and his fingers are buried in my tangles

[Queen of Rain]

This is brilliant.. the rhythm fits the diction so well and the structure is accesible to th reader.
Also, you remain at a terrific poetic level..

I started analysing into this adn found all these alternative themes that it could mean to the reader..
to me this poem means a lolt and most likely not what you thought about when you wrote it. But its juts wow. I could be the "I" of the poem.. my ex boyfriend the He. The situation the time when we were ready to give everything to eachother though we knew we could actually make eachother happy. The She in this case would be his drughabits..

I know its not what its actually about... but you can get this to mean a lot of different thinggs to different readers adn that is brilliant

[ScarletMornings]

thank you so much! it was such a different idea from what i usually do, i was pretty nervous but i'm so glad you liked it and could relate to it!! thank you mucho!

[Confusion]

I LOVE THIS!!!! I'm suddenly really into fairytales so i really really love this! i think this is very different to your other poems, which is good cause it shows how strong you are at varying your writing! the only line i don't like is

freakin’ crazy old witch would eat them I'm sure

freakin' seems a bit coloquial.. i don't think it really fits with the way the rest of the poem is written.. Maybe maniacal would sound better than crazy.. what about 'maniacal age-old witch would devour them i'm sure'?? just a suggestion. anyway, great poem!!

[cry,crayola.]

i absolutly love the ending, rowe. i think, though, the very begining was a little off. like it kind of turned my mind away from what was to come. like, cliche-ish, but not so much.

either way, i liked it.

[ScarletMornings]

i agree that my beginning seems a little out of place, any suggestions?