Places that are part of me

[Queen of Rain]

Unsure about the rather non verse-libre format and thje lengt of it.. would love an opinion!

I want to show you
Beulieu in November
when everyone else has left

I want to tell you
all the things about me that you
won't want to know

Show you the beaches
the beds, the places nothing special
Where I have fallen in love

Where stories unfolds and maybe ends
stories that are the answers
to all the whys about me

I want to show you
the hills by the house where I grew up
where nothing special happened

I want to be alone with you
and find a story
that will be ours

Find a place
where something special
will have happened

[Ramona]

Wow. I REALLY REALLY REALLY love this! HoF?
I like it a lot because of the way it's so relateable to me. it describes how I feel when I like someone. Like let's-swing-on-the-set-my-cousin-broke-once happy.

[ScarletMornings]

not to criticize, but this piece seems very opposite of your usual style. but i like it. i like the simplicity which tells you simply how the poem is feeling. i love it a lot, like ramona said i can relate. very good job. i love this idea.

[Queen of Rain]

great that you like it! im still struggling with un libre thing.. i think the end is a bit tooo simplistic? though i must say im really content with the frist part of the poem.. its oen of the things most revealing of my life ive written i think..

[cry,crayola.]

i like it simplistic, though. like mentioned before, it helps me relate to it easier. you can nod along without having to figure out some elaborate word scheme ((although, those are fun to read)). i really like it.