But That, Forever, Will Only Be That

[ScarletMornings]

inspired by something cindy (cookies4breakfast) wrote. hope she doesn't mind me stealing her phrase...

This is my ideal
the beauty in the world
that sparks the light in your eyes
the beauty you find in me
the beauty that I miss
but that makes no difference

And this is a thousand shifting dreams
lost in the clouded eyes of Morpheus
who cradles us in our drifting schemes
as we whisperstep through his crystal hourglass
softly searching for that searching softness
found only in our hopes that we pin on unsuspecting lovers
who don’t even realize they tread on our dreams

This is the swift-footed snowflakes who perform their ballet
so carelessly
and yet with an inhuman grace never to be matched
even if we practiced for a million years
the grace loves glazes over our oneandonlys
that cracks but never breaks
even as we watch the snow, faintly jealous,
drifting outside our window
unrivaled

This is the willow on the river
supple and subtle
all slender limbs and smooth skin
no bark or bite
bend and sway in the timeless dance
possessed by nymphs and Mother Nature herself
long, long hair tracing and skating upon the glassy water
as she admires her reflection in the mirror presented
I see a supplewillow reflected in your eyes
and I wonder if we’re standing on the river banks
the willow behind us, but I turn around to nothing
strange

Ah, this is a beautiful thing
something to whisper sweet somethings to
when in reality
this is that and that is sweet nothings
this is you in love with me
my Morpheusdream
but that is my harsh and barren Truth No. 1
and if this is that….
this will be my lovely tracings in the clouds
but that, forever, will only be that

[Ramona]

My God. This is brilliant, I especially love the second stanza.

[cry,crayola.]

whispersteps= one of mi favorato descriptions. i love this, darling. it's amazing as always. the whole thing just leaves me......... wow. can't even describe to you. wow.

[cry,crayola.]

i do like the way u used my phrase btw. very nice.

[ScarletMornings]

i tried. i read it and i was like "i have to use it. have to."

[darktears]

I really love the 'as we whisperstep through his crystal hourglass' line, ooh, absolutely my favourite, I love it so much. The whole thing is brilliant.

[Queen of Rain]

Lord, this is brilliant, a smooth slow rhytm amazing neologisms (new words), in general a brilliant diction, tone and everything.. I don't like repetitions much, as for the begining, however by italics it comes out much more classy.. Lovely my dear, really lovely

[ScarletMornings]

should i change the repetition?? or does it sound okay? and thank you guys

[cry,crayola.]

i think it sounds fine. and i'm still gonna steal whisperstep from you one of these days. you just wait. i'll get it, little missy. and your little ........dog.................too?

[Queen of Rain]

If you took away "the beauty that I miss" perhaps it would look even better? would emphasise the last line of the stanza more.. But damn, i sitll so adore this poem