Dream Bittersweet- Revised a tiny, tiny bit

[ScarletMornings]

I suppose you could smile
and tell me I'm beautiful
or you could just grin
and blind me with your beauty
either way I never seem to be able to see past
the light from your eyes

I stumble to bed
my head in the sun
and this little voice keeps whispering
dream bittersweet
my love
dream bittersweet
for it's the only way to see reality and fantasy
it's the only way you'll go on
when I'm gone

Bittersweet dreams
of shattered illusions
sparkling in the light of the sun
caught on the beams and rays
fluttering in the aftershocks
caused by my heart break
I see the light
oh, if I could only switch it off
as easily as you did your love
cliche hurts the worst, if you ask me

But do you dream bittersweet?
or do you just wake sweetly bitter?
reality tingeing the joy of our hope
sunshine breaking through
the curtains of our dreams
If you dream bittersweet
I hope there's enough of the sweet
to comfort you in the bitter
of your dreams

so, if you can, dream sweet
and save the bitter for awaking
save the bitter for tomorrow

[cry,crayola.]

must you always be so brilliant, my darling? *sigh* it truely is amazing, i promise. and our turning off the light thing is in there. yay!

[Queen of Rain]

Wow, the flow in this poem is amazing, the rythm erally emphasises the feelings!
"or do you just wake up?" that sentence jsut doesnt sound righit to me, its lacks poetic qualities compared to the rest of this beautiful piece of writing

[Ramona]

The last two stanzas really pulled the poem together, I think, this is such a great poem.

Ramona

[ScarletMornings]

any suggestions on how i should fix the "or do you just wake up?" part?

[lelandluver4eva]

i think its really good.

[equanimity]

Wow! Quite impressive.
I wish I could write like that.....
The emotion the rythme, it's just, just
Beautiful.

[ScarletMornings]

okay i changed the part queen of rain suggested i change. now how does it sound?