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Post by Ramona on Oct 11, 2005 8:35:31 GMT -8
I wrote it now, though last night was when I came upon the phrase "murder is blue" in a Stephen king book. ----- bluemurder bluemurder
you'd never ever guess
that the color of the sky
is the same as that of murder
not you, nor you, not I
she never saw his many faces
as he shoved into her ear
words he'd rehearsed well
the last ones she'd ever hear
he said to her
bluemurder
you never knew you'd never know
if it weren't for me
who told you that her murder
was the color of the sea
bluemurder |
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Post by ScarletMornings on Oct 11, 2005 18:19:01 GMT -8
WOOOOOOOOW. I LOOOOOVE THIS. VERY MYSTERIOUS. VERY COOL CONCEPT. NICE IMAGERY AND DICTION. FANTASTICO!
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Post by tpadancinbabie00 on Oct 12, 2005 14:36:03 GMT -8
Its different...I like different...lol....I like this..I have to agree with ScarletMornings...
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Post by cry,crayola. on Oct 12, 2005 18:27:51 GMT -8
a-freaking-mazing. i have to agree with sara (scarletmornings). it's very cool. some clarity on why murder is blue, maybe. i dunno. hehe! i bet i'm a big help, huh?
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Post by Ramona on Oct 13, 2005 8:27:55 GMT -8
Yeah, well, like I said I got it from a Stephen king book and the main dude was talking on the phone to some chick who was thinking about killing her uncle who has cancer to pu him out of misery and he sees auras sometimes because he's an insominica (yeah, totally weird, i know, but this is just the run-down, it makes sense if you read the big, loooong, novel) and blue lines are eeking out of the reciever and he thinks to himself, Murder is blue. So that's where I got it from, though I'm too lazy to figure out if I can work that into the poem somehow, but I don't really want to. Now I'm done typing too much. Excuse the typos, i think the bell is going to ring any minute, so, yeah.
Ramona
Ramona
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Post by Queen of Rain on Oct 14, 2005 10:10:16 GMT -8
Amazing rhythm!!! i mean havt read something flowing this well for ages.. and the poem is sooo beautiful
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Post by Ramona on Oct 14, 2005 14:39:52 GMT -8
Thank you so much. I honestly didn't like this poem that much, but you made me rethink it, which makes me happy.
Ramona
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Post by ScarletMornings on Oct 15, 2005 23:41:47 GMT -8
put it in the hof, in my opinion. i just reread it again and really loved it.
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Post by Ramona on Oct 16, 2005 7:20:27 GMT -8
I feel odd putting something of my own in the HoF, though, it just feels...wrong.
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Post by ScarletMornings on Oct 16, 2005 9:59:17 GMT -8
well, i think it's hof work, but if you don't want to.....
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Post by Ramona on Oct 16, 2005 13:28:02 GMT -8
Maybe, it just feels like I'd be bragging or something, you know?
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Post by ScarletMornings on Oct 17, 2005 12:55:58 GMT -8
hey, personally, i think you deserve to brag.
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Post by Ramona on Oct 17, 2005 14:15:08 GMT -8
*blushes* Thanks.  |
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Post by ScarletMornings on Oct 17, 2005 16:53:27 GMT -8
welp, it's a fantastic poem in my opinion!
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