Digging To China

[ScarletMornings]

I really don't know.......? help?


How frustrating is it
to love
and they don’t notice?
how much pain
can you fit into a body
so fragile
before you’re destroyed?
I must be getting close
because dreaming that you would love me
is like trying to dig a hole to China
with a spoon
impossible
crazy

while I'm at it
might as well fly to the moon
your love is about as reachable
as a star
a million miles away
so cliché
but still so inaccessible
dancing just out of sight
on beams of light
dark and bright
hey, I rhymed
you make me a poet
do you even know my name?

Scoop the ocean up in a bucket
and take a drink
let it flow out your eyes
a river of my tears
I'm wandering
again
lost
I fell in love with hopeless
you
and I'm digging to China
with a spoon

[behindTHEmask]

I love your ideas in this poem (ex: Digging to China with a spoon). I've never seen that one used in poetry before. But some of it seems cliche. The first few lines caught me as that, but maybe if you use a bit more imagery, it will cease.
But, it was still beautifully written with beautiful ideas.

[Ramona]

I like the concepts like the ocean and bucket thing and the digging to China with a spoon, but some parts could be more detailed.

"on beams of light
dark and bright
hey, I rhymed
you make me a poet
do you even know my name?"
I love the structure of that part.

Ramona

[ScarletMornings]

cool. which parts could i fix with more details? i'll work on not being cliche.