With the Moon and the Stars.

[behindTHEmask]

With the Moon and the Stars.

The length of time means nothing anymore
To both our tired souls
The competition has been lost
The game between us, forfeited.

The grains of sand have fallen
And the time between us has been wasted away
The tears have stained the pillows
And the emotions have dried under the sun.

A month ago we loved
A week ago we fought
Yesterday we talked
And today we are forgotten.

Times done nothing,
To heal the scars between us
And mend the broken hearts
That we’ve buried with our smiles
As you and I pass by.

Hope inserts the stars,
Time follows the full moon,
Love will form between us,
As the world plays on in slow motion.

[dominicmonaghan]

very well written, i especially like the part, "a month ago we loved, a week ago we fought, yestereday we talked, and today we are forgotten" although the whole thing was good :-)

[Queen of Rain]

I love it.. i look for somethign to critisise on but i canot find anything specific..

[Pseudomuse]

oooohahhhhh! this I really liked. really liked. Great job.

i like this stanza
A month ago we loved
A week ago we fought
Yesterday we talked
And today we are forgotten.
althought I think it would read better and the meter would flow just a tab bit better if And was removed.

and for the last stanza is inserts really the right word? I dunno, but it just sounded off. but if thats what you were getting at keep it.

but otherwise

Fantabulous.

Lurf
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