Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 27, 2005 16:36:03 GMT -8
((I know I have posted this before, but I wanted your opinions on it's "vulgarity and gratuitous violence" because I was going to make this my second piece in a contest, but I doubt I can.))
The Forgotten
If I screamed as the metal blade fell upon my skin,
would you look back?
Or would you walk away just like the rest of the world
Leaving no trace of good-bye
Because I surrendered.
I didn't listen to your pleas
That begged me to be stronger,
To face the music and push away all of my fears.
To be someone you would look at with pride in your eyes,
Smiling at my courage.
I ignored the multiple phone calls
In the early hours of the morning from you,
Checking to see if I was all right,
If my chest was still rising
As I inhaled.
I pretended that no one cared,
So it would be easier for me to inflict this bitter pain upon myself.
Because I knew the thought of me puncturing my fair skin made you cringe in disgust.
My self-mutilation caused you to hate looking into my eyes,
Taking notice of the pain growing greater with every step I'd take.
I'm sorry I never listened to the lectures you spent hours saying.
I'm sorry that I could never be who you wanted me to be,
The flawless new doll,
In the small confined box,
Living the perfect life,
That everyone wanted to have
Where everything had its place,
And one miniscule thing that was taken from the sturdy tower built,
Could make it fall apart,
And spread it's pieces across the floor like shattered glass.
My world was in pieces,
Scattered on the ground to begin with.
I'd scream until my lungs bursted and you'd listen with open ears,
And no matter how many times you came to my house,
Holding my trembling body,
I could tell this wasn't what you bargained for.
I could see it in your cloudy, dazed eyes
You wanted to take back everything
Get out before it ever started.
You wanted to travel back,
To the days where your eyes shined like a clear summer morning.
Where birds woke you up,
And nothing could ruin your day.
You aren't turning around running back to me now,
Screaming in my face to stop,
To pull away the knife and move on with my life.
You are turning around,
Watching the crimson blood hit the distorted, cold pavement,
With sorrow lingering behind those remorseful eyes
Because you knew who I was
Before I became who I am,
The forgotten.
If I screamed as the metal blade fell upon my skin,
would you look back?
Or would you walk away just like the rest of the world
Leaving no trace of good-bye
Because I surrendered.
I didn't listen to your pleas
That begged me to be stronger,
To face the music and push away all of my fears.
To be someone you would look at with pride in your eyes,
Smiling at my courage.
I ignored the multiple phone calls
In the early hours of the morning from you,
Checking to see if I was all right,
If my chest was still rising
As I inhaled.
I pretended that no one cared,
So it would be easier for me to inflict this bitter pain upon myself.
Because I knew the thought of me puncturing my fair skin made you cringe in disgust.
My self-mutilation caused you to hate looking into my eyes,
Taking notice of the pain growing greater with every step I'd take.
I'm sorry I never listened to the lectures you spent hours saying.
I'm sorry that I could never be who you wanted me to be,
The flawless new doll,
In the small confined box,
Living the perfect life,
That everyone wanted to have
Where everything had its place,
And one miniscule thing that was taken from the sturdy tower built,
Could make it fall apart,
And spread it's pieces across the floor like shattered glass.
My world was in pieces,
Scattered on the ground to begin with.
I'd scream until my lungs bursted and you'd listen with open ears,
And no matter how many times you came to my house,
Holding my trembling body,
I could tell this wasn't what you bargained for.
I could see it in your cloudy, dazed eyes
You wanted to take back everything
Get out before it ever started.
You wanted to travel back,
To the days where your eyes shined like a clear summer morning.
Where birds woke you up,
And nothing could ruin your day.
You aren't turning around running back to me now,
Screaming in my face to stop,
To pull away the knife and move on with my life.
You are turning around,
Watching the crimson blood hit the distorted, cold pavement,
With sorrow lingering behind those remorseful eyes
Because you knew who I was
Before I became who I am,
The forgotten.
