Post by muzikishappiness on Nov 16, 2005 18:57:23 GMT -8
Nobody knows, but
At night she cries
He's hurt her badly
And told her lies
And by dawn
The tears are dry
She tries to be happy
But inside she dies
(Chorus)
Spiteful lies
And blood-stained tears
She's screaming so loud
But nobody hears
In repitition
Night falls once more
And she cries her eyes out
From the heart that he tore
And the words he screamed
Didn't deserve to be heard
But it doesnt matter
He's got the last word
24 hours past
And night falls again
With sudden realization
She knows she cant win
It's still dark
But she sees the knife
"It's the last time I cry"
She took her own life.
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It's the first song I've ever written that seemed okay to me, so dont COMPLETELY murder it please?? I would like some help with how good it is, what I could do better, what the strong parts are, and revision. That sort of stuff. If you could help, I'd be very grateful. Thanks.
At night she cries
He's hurt her badly
And told her lies
And by dawn
The tears are dry
She tries to be happy
But inside she dies
(Chorus)
Spiteful lies
And blood-stained tears
She's screaming so loud
But nobody hears
In repitition
Night falls once more
And she cries her eyes out
From the heart that he tore
And the words he screamed
Didn't deserve to be heard
But it doesnt matter
He's got the last word
24 hours past
And night falls again
With sudden realization
She knows she cant win
It's still dark
But she sees the knife
"It's the last time I cry"
She took her own life.
---------------------------------------------------
It's the first song I've ever written that seemed okay to me, so dont COMPLETELY murder it please?? I would like some help with how good it is, what I could do better, what the strong parts are, and revision. That sort of stuff. If you could help, I'd be very grateful. Thanks.
