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Post by behindTHEmask on Feb 12, 2005 19:37:46 GMT -8
When The Rain Comes, Love Will Follow.
Running through the rivers, Of ocean blue streams, She weeps for him, For giving her peace.
The puddle surrounding her, Clear as air, Unmasks the flaws, Lying hidden to all.
His eyes fall in deep, To her shivering in fear, That this may be the love, She never prepared for.
His fingertip runs over the curves, That fashion her face, That draw together, Who she is.
Cheeks tinted pink, Smile forming from joy, Her hearts beating louder, As the sky paints a picture.
She buries herself in him, Sheltered from the world, Falling behind her, Lighting itself in flames.
The loves always been there, But the clarity never seems to cease, For her to find, Its true meanings.
But with him it doesn’t matter, The questions never lie, Until he walks away, For a single moment.
That moment sticks, Until he returns, With his arms wrapped around her, Saving her from herself.
Maybe the love isn’t yet to be sought for, Maybe it isn’t ready to find, But someday it could happen, With the sky weeping rivers.
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Post by Queen of Rain on Feb 20, 2005 2:59:04 GMT -8
omg nice poem!!
it felt a little too long, as if the beginning was could have been shortened since it didnt give anythin to the poem.. its strecgth lies in the end... perhaps change something in the beginning to make it more catching to the reader.. otherwise great work..
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Post by jackfrost on Feb 26, 2005 16:53:10 GMT -8
Your poem is so romantic! I loved it! I didn't see anything wrong with any of it...but then, I'm not the greatest person to ask cause I'm not much of a poet. Anyway, I'd like to see some more poems of yours! ;D jack frost
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Post by Pseudomuse on Mar 2, 2005 19:33:33 GMT -8
beautiful imagery. I don't think I found anything to change in this so I'll just give my favorite line: With the sky weeping rivers. beautiful piece of writing there behindTHEmask.
lurf PM
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Post by behindTHEmask on Mar 2, 2005 20:15:56 GMT -8
Thank you all. I love the comments.
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Post by ScarletMornings on Mar 3, 2005 20:08:57 GMT -8
*sigh* I never get tired of reading your poems. There's just . . . something . . about them that I can never quit liking. Amazing. I loved this.
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Post by frontpagenews on Mar 4, 2005 17:30:55 GMT -8
Ooh I love this poem, its beautiful I love the title it rocks. The only I have to really add is that the lines "But the clarity never seems to cease, For her to find, Its true meanings" doesnt quite sound right to me. But heh who knows other than that it rocked!
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Post by behindTHEmask on Mar 4, 2005 23:30:26 GMT -8
No, it's horrible now. Trash.
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