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Post by behindTHEmask on Feb 10, 2005 16:11:50 GMT -8
This Masterpiece Is Goodbye
Etched on a canvas, With threads of red, His mind fell undone, Without her breaths.
The streaks of passion, Painted in gold, Gave you a message, With buried deception.
The bristles of the brush, Tipped with white, Opened the hope, He locked in a bottle.
The angles obtuse, Show you the retaliation, He wished to endure, But never met to the eye.
The lines of black, Parallel and endless, Were the times she ran, And never looked back.
The paintings his life, Suppressed in his soul, Beating a lullaby, To sing him to sleep.
The art was his escape, From the melancholy eyes, He saw through the reflection, Of the beauty he adored.
Etched on the canvas, Painted in pain, Laid the colors of her life, She used to drown him, In crimson pastels.
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Post by Sparks on Feb 12, 2005 8:25:38 GMT -8
Wow. You haven't posted too much poetry on here, that I've read. I really, really liked this though. I probably take to this one because I spend a surprising amount of time on art and painting and...I don't know, it's a way of getting things out and controlling them. I really like how in the second line of the first three stanzas, you expressed colours. And then, just when I was expecting to read on like that, the pattern changed.
The lines of black, Parallel and endless, Were the times she ran, And never looked back.
That and the last stanza were my favourite.
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Post by behindTHEmask on Feb 12, 2005 9:38:43 GMT -8
I wanted to try something different this time. Like using a visual people normally stare at, and give it a past. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting, Sparks!
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Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 22, 2005 23:07:47 GMT -8
OMG! I ADORED THIS PASSIONATELY! WHERE ON EARTH WAS I WHEN IT WAS POSTED?!?!?!?!?!
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Post by Confusion on Jun 23, 2005 8:51:15 GMT -8
this is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Ramona on Jun 25, 2005 12:14:24 GMT -8
"The lines of black, Parallel and endless, Were the times she ran, And never looked back."
This was my favorite stanza, and I really liked how you wrote a poem abot something that's like a form of visual poetry. Perhaps I'm going Hall of Fame crazy, but would you mind if I put this poem in the Halll of Fame?
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Post by Queen of Rain on Jun 26, 2005 13:20:41 GMT -8
this poem is so wellwritten im amazed...
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Post by ScarletMornings on Jun 27, 2005 22:40:29 GMT -8
i agree AND PUT IT IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jul 1, 2005 17:22:07 GMT -8
I don't mind if you put it in the Hall of Fame.
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Post by ScarletMornings on Jul 1, 2005 21:11:10 GMT -8
WRITE SOME MORE LIKE THIS, I LOVED IT!!!
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Post by usgeisha on Jul 2, 2005 23:03:20 GMT -8
This poem is absolutely beautiful! I especially liked this stanza: "The angles obtuse, Show you the retaliation, He wished to endure, But never met to the eye." One of the best poems I've read on this site.
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Post by behindTHEmask on Sept 10, 2005 23:12:59 GMT -8
Thanks, guys. I'm glad you liked it. I might write some more. I've written a few. Maybe I'll post them.
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