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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 29, 2005 18:03:24 GMT -8
I'm new here and I have a story I started working on recently. But I'm stuck on some parts and I also wanted to know if the story sounded interesting to anyone. No point in writing it, if no one will read it.
Setting: Early 1500's, England. Renassince
A now orphaned(Story starts at mother's funeral) Braelyn, daughter of an earl discovers that her mother and her are witches with the help of a snooty, talking cat, Opal. A boy named Todd(pickpocket about a year older than her) joins her when she runs for it. They find a carnival along the way,Including a blind seer who tells Brae's fortune. While staying in a town though, the sweating sickness occurs and Todd gets it. Brae uses her powers to heal him, and is also discovered as a witch.
That's all I have so far. No idea if it will be a series or what will be the ending yet. Comemnts welcomed!
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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 29, 2005 18:05:48 GMT -8
Aargh, I can't read those little things at the bottom! I thought it said Post, not Poll!
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Post by cry,crayola. on Dec 29, 2005 18:12:33 GMT -8
hehe! i still voted anyways!
i think it could be a promising story as long as its told well. *sighs* i'm absolutly in love with fantasy-type books, but everytime i try and write a story, it turns out the same as a little 9 year old would have written it, it seems.
and there's always a point to writing something even if everyone else refuses it's brilliance and potential. for the satisfaction of ones self, duh?! hehe! and ya never know how many people will like it or not!
welcome to the site!
i also think that i have totally fallen in love with the name Braelyn. yep. it's definite.
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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 29, 2005 18:17:56 GMT -8
I have no idea how I found that name. I just had one of the brillant moments. Yes, I made it up, but it's pretty! I like Todd's name too, it means fox, and that's how I imagine him. Red hair, quick at talking and walking. Good thief too for a 14 year old.
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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 29, 2005 18:21:48 GMT -8
Anyone here?
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Post by cry,crayola. on Dec 29, 2005 18:30:55 GMT -8
me!
i am!
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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 29, 2005 18:31:46 GMT -8
Hello! I figured out how to do this. Man this is a really good site!
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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 29, 2005 18:32:07 GMT -8
What have you written?
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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 29, 2005 18:39:30 GMT -8
It's pretty late where I live. I'm going to hit the sack. Be back in the morning!
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Post by cry,crayola. on Dec 29, 2005 18:39:37 GMT -8
poetry, mostly. this is my first time to be on this particular board even though i've been a member for a while. oops........?
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Post by cry,crayola. on Dec 29, 2005 18:40:18 GMT -8
mmmmmkay. nite
oklahoma time = 8:43 pm.
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Post by kurai on Dec 30, 2005 15:31:23 GMT -8
I'll just quote what I said before:
I luff the name Braelyn but your plot is kind of weak. no offense. I've seen so many times, and so I would have to say it's cliche. They always have a poor boy who's a theif. Make him something new, something never seen before. Not an elf or some unearthly creature but a human. Add to your plot where did she find how to cure him. Who found her out. What is she going to do. And if she's going to die. Make twists that people won't figure it out without a lot of help and clues. Maybe the sickness could be caused by someone. Maybe by someone she trusts, that no one ever expected. You have to make it yours. People have seen the plot before so you have add so many things to catch their attention. Oh about the talking cat, all witches have cats. Where's the fun in that?
Good Luck,
Kurai
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Post by Robin on Dec 31, 2005 9:54:49 GMT -8
Yes. The plot is extraordinarily weak, and it's filled with way too many cliches. There are always orphaned witches, and there are always poor thieves.
While you don't need to fill in the meat right now (it is just a summary), I think it would help you to write down some notes about how all this will come about. Try to think of an original way. I just read an amazing book calling The Tower of Ravens that involved a tomboyish girl in a girly girl world. Now, that sounds very cliche (like your story), but the author (Kate Forsyth) made it so that the girl was raised in a family of "satyricorns," who are very rude and boisterous. She came up with an original crossbreed ("saytricorn" and human), and also with an innovative way to make the character seem more original. If you can find original reasons for all of this happening, such as a good way for Braelyn to run away, then your story would be rather interesting to read.
The plot you have, while weak, appeals to all audiences. It's familiar, and familiarity breeds love before it breeds contempt.
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Post by conversesneaker on Dec 31, 2005 10:42:40 GMT -8
Author(or soon to be suthor anyway..)'s note: For those of you who are saying my plot is weak, too many cliches, bla, bla bla, well you are about to be amazed at what I'm about to say. You are abolsoulety right. Half the books on 1 of my shelves have something to do with that. However, I'm going to rework the story and set it in our world, thanks to the ideas of Sisters Grimm( a childish story, true but absoluety brilliant plot). Also, something I didn't make clear in my earlier posts that I probably should have is the Braelyn is not a potion making, spell-casting witch. Rather she can understant animals, and knows a special type of magic* I created that my new Braelyn will still have. I'll keep reading your comments and keep them in mind while I rework my story. Bear in mind this will take me a while.
*I will not explain this magic unfortunatly, because I wanted to keep this a secret surprise. It's rather brillant though.
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