Yes, One More. Yes, Untitled. Yes, Needs Help.

[kaidanasnan]

Chapter One

The village was small, perhaps just able to be called a town, if you really wanted to call it such.
“How can His power dwell in such a tiny place?” a large voice asked incredulously.
“Oh, hush, Crin. You are just sore that He comes from a poor background,” said an amused voice.
“Am not,” half-whined the first voice. “You just can’t wait until He finds me, can you?” The two almost sounded like an older sister chiding a younger brother.
The other voice laughed. “Of course not,” she said, making the other snort. “If you’d let me finish, you would have heard me say that I would much rather get rid of you myself,” she added a bit more annoyed. The first one sighed.
“Now stop stressing and come away from the Pool. He won’t be grown for quite some time yet.”<br>“I guess…”
The voices stopped, and the God and Goddess left their Watching Pool.
With their backs turned, they didn’t notice the Pool swirl and writhe in its container, showing an image of a tiny baby boy restless in his expensive crib.
The baby whined and squirmed; finally letting out a cry as the Pool swirled again, waves tumbling over each other to dispel the image.

Chapter Two

“Bane!” a soft voice came from the shadowy window near him. The boy, no older that fourteen summers, searched in the darkness for the one he was meeting.
“I have it,” he whispered back.
“Finally. Come around back.” He could hear rustling about and he set off around the house.
The door opened and soft orange light poured out. He held out a small leather pouch and the girl from the window grinned.
“Thanks. Mom will love it.”<br> “No problem Kia.” They nodded, grinning and Bane stole out into the shadows.
Making sure that he was gone, Kia shut the door softly. Leaning against it, she untied the pouch quickly. Almost instantly, a sweet aroma filed the kitchen she stood in, making her smile. Mom would love this.
Retying the bag again, she crept towards the front of the house, into her room. The cool wood of the floor felt great on her bare feet on the hot summer night. She closed the door behind her, placed the pouch on the table, slipped into bed and slept.


“Kia,” a soft voice from the doorway made the sleeper stir. “Come on. Bane’s waiting.” This made the girl sit up with a start. She had forgotten they were supposed to help Elder Aldon that day. With a soft laugh, the voice left her.
Kia sprang out of the bed and dressed quickly. She forgot about the pouch on her table as she darted out the door, yelling a good bye.
She almost barreled into Bane, who was waiting outside. “Late again, Kia,” he sighed, shaking his head but grinning. She shrugged and they set off down the street towards Aldon’s house.
“So, did you give your mom the berry yet?” he asked. Kia shook her head.
“Actually, I was going to, but I forgot. I’ll do it later.” He nodded and they walked up the path towards the old house.
“What are we doing today?” Bane asked as Kia knocked on the door.
“I think he said-”<br> “Hello there, Kia. Bane,” said a sudden voice as the door opened. Kia and Bane bowed their heads, as was custom.
“Good morning Elder Aldon,” they chorused, making him chuckle.
“Come in, children,” he said, stepping aside to let them pass. He closed the door behind them and followed them into a large, dark brown room.
Kia and Bane took a seat on a comfortable couch across from the squashy armchair Aldon sat in.
“Today we will be studying the Ancients,” Aldon was saying to the attentive pair. “In order to study their culture, you must first understand their Prophecy.” He took a deep breath, and closed his icy blue eyes.
“In the Coming Years, a new Power will be born,” he recited in his slow, gravelly voice. “This Power will frighten the God, Crin. Crin will try to eliminate the Power thrice, but will fail dismally each time. Finally, the Power will set off on a noble Quest, and the God Crin shall Reign no more. There shall be One Other, who will try to stop the Deed, but will only fail. However, in a great Sacrifice, both of their Minds will flee, leaving the World for a Bright Age.”<br> He opened his eyes and surveyed them for a reaction. “Of course, that is only a part of the entire Prophecy. Another part would be-”<br> “Elder!” a young man’s voice carried through the open window and cut off his sentence. The Elder rose with a sigh and went over to open the door.
“What is it now, Rhen?” Aldon asked.
“The Council is meeting, and they need you at the Hall immediately,” Rhen, the Council’s young messenger, panted. It sounded as if he had ran the way from the Hall to Aldon’s house.
Aldon turned to the pair. “I’m sorry. But we will have to cut this session short. I have to go with Rhen. I will see you two tomorrow.” Kia nodded and Bane shrugged. The four of them left, two to the Hall, and two in the opposite direction.
“What do you think they needed him for?” Kia asked curiously. Bane shrugged.
“They always need him for something. It’s probably nothing,” he said carelessly. Kia nodded.
“But Rhen seemed really nervous this time. Maybe it is important for once,” she said thoughtfully. Bane nodded.
“It would be a first,” he said. He didn’t sound skeptical, as Kia had thought he would.
“It would be,” Kia agreed. “Oh, would you like to come to my house? I still have to give Mom the berry.”<br> Bane grinned and nodded. “Sure. Plus, I heard she was cooking later.”<br> Kia laughed. Everyone loved her mother’s cooking.
It only took a minute to arrive at her house, and they went straight in.
“Hello,” they greeted Kia’s mom, who grinned.
“Hello Bane. Are you staying for dinner again tonight?” she asked good-naturedly. Bane nodded.
“Of course,” he said, as Kia darted out of her room, pouch in hand.
“Mom,” she said. “Me and Bane found this near the Woods. I thought you would like it.” She grinned and handed her mother the small pouch.
She opened it carefully, and as the lips of the purse fell back, the sweet aroma filled the room, making her mother smile.
“Freya!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t know that there was some over by the Woods.” Kia and Bane grinned at each other.
“You’re welcome,” they said in unison.
With a last smile, she hurried away towards the kitchen, probably to add a pinch of the berry to that night’s meal.
“So, what do you think of that prophecy,” Bane asked absently as they entered Kia’s room. Kia shrugged.
“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. “It seems practically impossible that Crin could be…overthrown, but I guess that anything is possible.”<br> Bane nodded. “That’s what I was thinking.” He paused. “What about the Sacrifice?” he asked uncertainly. Kia shrugged.
“Well, if it helps the world, then I guess it should be an honor to sacrifice one’s Mind,” she said slowly.
The loss of one’s Mind was a terrible prospect. One’s Mind was where they held their memory, their emotions, their whole Being, even. She could never imagine having to give hers up, and never would.
Bane didn’t say anything, and a silence fell over them for a moment.
“Come on, dinner is on the table!” came the soft voice of Kia’s father.
The two gratefully left the room and gathered around the table with the others. There were Kia’s parents, Bane, Kia, and Bane’s mother had come over too, probably while they had been talking.
They ate with much talking and laughing, along with many hearty compliments for the cook, who grinned and colored slightly.
After dinner, Bane and his mother said their farewells and went to their house a few minutes down the road.
“G’night Mom, Dad,” Kia said sleepily as she wandered into her room and closed the door.

[kaidanasnan]

Chapter 3

She stood in a tall black marble archway. She discovered that her footsteps echoed loudly as she stepped into the tall, open-roofed room. The same black marble covered the floor. The only bit of color in the chilly room was a white pool in the middle of the room. She walked up to it, footsteps rebounding around the room, making her ears hurt. The echoes seemed more intense then in the real world.
She reached the pool, and gazed into it. As her eyes found the center of the still waters, she flinched. The water radiated brightness, although she couldn’t actually see any light.
To her surprise, the waters swirled in their container. Fascinated, she looked into them, ignoring the radiance.
A picture presented itself in the waters, and she gazed at it for a moment before realizing what it was exactly. When she recognized it, her mouth formed a silent gasp.
Bane was sitting on one of the chairs in his home, head on one shoulder, and book in lap. It looked as though he had fallen asleep while reading. That was normal enough. She looked around the room in the waters, and found that he was still in the library. His mother was probably sleeping. Suddenly, she found movement in the corner of the water-room. She stared at it, and made of the shape of a mottled gray swan. It’s beak seemed upturned in a secretive grin as it floated across the room. It flapped its great wings at the sleeper and suddenly, Bane began to cough, chest heaving. She gasped and went to flee, to return to her own reality. Her feet, however, remained rooted to the spot. Her eyes found the pool again, and she watched once more.
Bane had stopped coughing, and was sleeping peacefully again. The swan looked bewildered for a moment, before flapping his wings again, harder this time. Bane coughed again, harder this time. Biting her lip, she watched reluctantly, fearing that the swan may have more power then it seemed. But he stopped coughing again, and the swan looked disgruntled before disappearing in a flurry of gray feathers. One floated down to alight on the floor.
So, he’s stopped him again, a cruel voice remarked. Interesting.
She looked around fervently for the voice, but knew that she wouldn’t want to find it. Finally, she found a tall, imposing shadow. She could not make out a figure, but it was obviously female, how she knew she did not know.
Now, what is this?
She’s found me! she thought fearfully. She tried to flee once more, but her attempt was fruitless.
Who are you, young one? The voice sounded almost gentle, but there was a definite twang to it. Perhaps a mage, come to steal the Scry? Or a spy sent from the High Ones? Or-and this would be impossible-a mortal? She spoke the last word with contempt, as if it were a crime to be such.
She didn’t say anything, rather clamped her mouth shut.

[louise]

It is nice, but as far as you've posted here, not very special. If I remember correctly, you've written better pieces. I am not really talking about the story (it doesn't really show already), more about your style.

[kaidanasnan]

Alrighty. Thanks for the input.

[taliesin]

I agree with Louise. It's not really showing your style. Chapter One, I think, would be more in the tune of Prologue, since it's so short and doesn't match the same person in the main of the story.