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Post by Queen of Rain on Apr 3, 2006 21:20:57 GMT -8
Political Prisoner
for Diane DiPrima
You eat me alive
she whispers
Scornful is love nowadays
shattered shameful
as a woman's head shaved
- the bruises
The bruise
ticklingly tasting of old cigarette smoke
and burning
of wordless sectrets
(tragedy)
unfold with molding passion
So they starve
wordlessly
desperately
and she no longer cries
(starvation)
That painful smile
has a story to tell (tragedy)
it whispers
in this woman
In every woman |
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Post by cry,crayola. on Apr 4, 2006 14:53:40 GMT -8
i like this. the imagery, the whole plot of it is amazing. i especially enjoy how you ended it and the ( )'s (sorry, i know i'll mess up the spelling...) made it awesome.
bravo.
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Post by Queen of Rain on Apr 4, 2006 14:58:05 GMT -8
Thank you very much!
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Post by Pseudomuse on Apr 4, 2006 16:17:58 GMT -8
oooh I love it. Wouldn't change a thang. Though: Is wispers supposed to be whispers? It reminds me of the processing scene of Evey in V for Vendetta.
beauteuous! PM
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Post by Queen of Rain on Apr 4, 2006 17:23:46 GMT -8
Thank youu.. and yes i mean whisper..  Theme came from an old poem of mine about domestic violence yet I wnated to make it more societal instead of casebased, and with a touch of DiPrima's feminism in a modern perspective. The images from V for Vendetta. Images of young lovers of nazi soldiers. Chocolat by Joanne Harris... A good mixture and it seems it suceeded to make a good poem |
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