The dark side of the Road

[Queen of Rain]

I watch
Boisterously separated legs
I find uneasyness
in this obvious sexuality
The highpinched laugher
silverhard make-up on her glaced eyes
Purple high heel pumps like podiums

And anyone is good enough
hungry breasts wanting escape

Or maybe they no longer hunger
mammalian murder that no longer gives pleasure
just something other
than this emptiness

And I try and try and try
not to judge
but something in
the trembling steps
up stairs to an old strangers house tonight
Make me wonder
If one ever notices
when lips no longer
taste of life

[Ramona]

The highpinched laugher
I think putting high" and "pinched" together into a new word is a but much here, it sounds too forced.

silverhard make-up
I love "silverhard."

nd I try and try and try
not to judge
but something in
the trembling steps
up stairs to an old strangers house tonight
Make me wonder
If one ever notices
when lips no longer
taste of life
This last stanza is simply brilliant. There is no other way to putit. The imagery is fantastic because it's early-on in the poem but the end kind of pulls the imagery into one image.

[ScarletMornings]

i think this is amazing. personally, i like the high pinched, it gives good and accurate imagery of the vibe i'm getting from this. brilliantly done, like ramona said. i like it's length, not too long, it's succint but not abrupt. great job.

[Queen of Rain]

thank you my darlings