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Post by darktears on Dec 18, 2005 14:10:15 GMT -8
Oh, I like this alot. I don't know what I like about it, I just do...you know? Well if you don't then...well, I'm not sure, but I'm babbling...so I must say, I do like this poem, good job.
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Post by onemoremile on Dec 19, 2005 8:29:13 GMT -8
Fantastic. Once again, I'm incredibly jealous of your poetic talent. I love the ideas in the poem, and particularly the ending, as I was half expecting a sad ending.
The only part I didn't like was also my favourite part (wierd I know). I love the ideas and the words in the ending, but the last 5 lines felt a bit jerky and out of place... it just didn't seem to fit. I'd use the same concept and generally the same words, just jumble them around a bit so it flows more naturally. Then again, maybe that's just me, it doesseem to sound better each time I read it
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