Beautiful Corpse

[Queen of Rain]

Somehow i feel that this poem slid too far away from its original base which should be the clear references to the icon Jim Morrisson (who really lived fast, died young and made a beautiful corpse)... Im sitll workin on it so i cud need some comments guys....


Beautiful Corpse

Vulgar the world
- Taste it
that word;
vulgar, vulgar,
The fascination behind
not obscene, not obscene
- Sense it
the passion
behind fear and disgust
Beautiful corpse

We read the news
of that futulistic fate
though our eyes are burning
of tears and disgust
We digest the horror
Watch the smugded pictures
of a hero
Gone dead

Make sure its all over,
beautiful world
Our hero has left us
in such mysterious way

Live fast
Die young

We dont admire
We dont condemn
- Taste the sulphur
in the air
This is humanity,
this morbid end
vulgar vulgar
Do we dare to challenge
passions and fears?

You knew it all the time,
saw our vulgar love
Taste it taste it,
the passion
- Farewell

[Confusion]

i think its great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can definately relate this to the topic you based it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

only bits i think need improving are..

second stanza: perhaps this could flow a little better maybe??

third stanza: great!! i think its my fav bit, except the last line, i think the ending of the stanza sems a bit abrupt...

i loooooove this poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ScarletMornings]

I think it's wonderful. i don't really know that much about jim morrison, so i don't know how to help. i personally like it like this really well.