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Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Black May 8, 2005 2:13:05 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 8, 2005 2:13:05 GMT -8 Your darkness is my light Your night is my day Your tears form my smile Your pain is my bliss Jet black Yet so vivid Black My life My world Black
	Last Edit: May 10, 2005 7:42:59 GMT -8 by Confusion "One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Black May 9, 2005 18:20:17 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on May 9, 2005 18:20:17 GMT -8 I like it. Simple, but to the point. I especially liked the jet black part. But it bordered on cliche, but not quite. maybe liven up the language with some synonyms?
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Black May 10, 2005 7:44:02 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 10, 2005 7:44:02 GMT -8 Thanx! I haven't changed it much but i changed a couple of words for more wacky lively stuff ;D
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Queen of Rain Senior Writer I'm Swedish, that should explain it all.. Posts: 614	Black May 12, 2005 6:34:39 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Queen of Rain on May 12, 2005 6:34:39 GMT -8 this is amazing, such condense in words only feelings come out of it and the beauty in your word choice is stunning!
	A ship in a harbour is safe, but that's not what a ship is built for

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Black May 12, 2005 7:18:03 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 12, 2005 7:18:03 GMT -8 Thankyou very very much!!!!! ;D
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Black May 15, 2005 14:51:57 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on May 15, 2005 14:51:57 GMT -8 Great touch up. It gave it just what it needed. Beautiful job. Now, i'm gonna shamelessly endorse. ;D ;)will you please comment on my poem about rain?
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Black May 16, 2005 7:21:09 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 16, 2005 7:21:09 GMT -8 Thanx very much! I've just commented on your fantastical poem!!
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Black May 21, 2005 10:14:26 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on May 21, 2005 10:14:26 GMT -8 THANK YOU!! i am SOO grateful! ;D
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!