Sorry

Confusion
Senior Writer

Posts: 518

Sorry May 8, 2005 2:04:25 GMT -8

Quote

Post by Confusion on May 8, 2005 2:04:25 GMT -8

I'm sorry I always blamed you
Whenever I was feeling down

I'm sorry I took things so seriously
Sorry I ran you into the ground

Not stopping to take in the moment
Never stopping to enjoy what we had
Even your kisses became irrelevant
Now there are no sweet kisses
No more
Not ever

Never enjoying
Always analysing
Never together
Always distant

I'm sorry you feel you hurt me
Sorry for the endless blood tears
Streaming from my eyes

Sorry for how I left us
Sorry for how you began us

I wish you wouldn't suffer so
What's done is done
Let's let it be

Goodnight, sweet love
Goodnight

Last Edit: May 19, 2005 7:53:27 GMT -8 by Confusion

"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Queen of Rain Senior Writer I'm Swedish, that should explain it all.. Posts: 614	Sorry May 8, 2005 9:36:20 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Queen of Rain on May 8, 2005 9:36:20 GMT -8 i loove the idea but this poem could b made more original tru either the use of more fragments or the use of imagery..
	A ship in a harbour is safe, but that's not what a ship is built for

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Sorry May 8, 2005 13:21:36 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 8, 2005 13:21:36 GMT -8 i agree with that! i'll change it.... when im more awake
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Sorry May 9, 2005 7:35:32 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 9, 2005 7:35:32 GMT -8 hmmmm........ i've edited it very slightly... i think there is probably still some more work i could do on it... i'll do it when the subject discussed in this poem is less relevant...
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Sorry May 9, 2005 18:22:15 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on May 9, 2005 18:22:15 GMT -8 i like the blood tears. very dark imagery. cool.
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Sorry May 10, 2005 7:39:51 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 10, 2005 7:39:51 GMT -8 Thanx ;D
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Sorry May 19, 2005 7:54:02 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 19, 2005 7:54:02 GMT -8 ive edited this a bit........ i dont think i realli like it tho any suggestions?
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

ScarletMornings
Administration

http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278

Posts: 1,061

Sorry May 21, 2005 10:19:08 GMT -8

Quote

Post by ScarletMornings on May 21, 2005 10:19:08 GMT -8

i really like this. great editing, in my opinion. i think i'm a sucker for poems that have endearments in them. in this poem, it adds a bit of bittersweet irony, because your talking about how stuff has been bad, then you throw in the sweetheart, i don't know, i just really liked this. still enjoyed the blood tears, too.

"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave,
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."

-- Edna St. Vincent Millay,
from "Dirge Without Music"

Go to the link and read it!

ScarletMornings Administration http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/ednamillay/7278 Posts: 1,061	Sorry May 21, 2005 10:19:59 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ScarletMornings on May 21, 2005 10:19:59 GMT -8 excuse me, sweet love
	"Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave, Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned." -- Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Dirge Without Music" Go to the link and read it!

Confusion Senior Writer Posts: 518	Sorry May 21, 2005 10:21:40 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Confusion on May 21, 2005 10:21:40 GMT -8 Thanx very much!!!! ;D
	"One day I'll be a rainbow belly just like you," she whispered in his ear, "I'll cover painful scars with the brightest tattoos. I want to be a rainbow belly just like you."

Post by Confusion on May 8, 2005 2:04:25 GMT -8

Post by Queen of Rain on May 8, 2005 9:36:20 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on May 8, 2005 13:21:36 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on May 9, 2005 7:35:32 GMT -8

Post by ScarletMornings on May 9, 2005 18:22:15 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on May 10, 2005 7:39:51 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on May 19, 2005 7:54:02 GMT -8

Post by ScarletMornings on May 21, 2005 10:19:08 GMT -8

Post by ScarletMornings on May 21, 2005 10:19:59 GMT -8

Post by Confusion on May 21, 2005 10:21:40 GMT -8