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Wings
May 8, 2005 1:58:06 GMT -8
Post by Confusion on May 8, 2005 1:58:06 GMT -8
She had the wings of an angel
Yet the heart of the devil
The eyes of a saint
The soul of a sinner
She sang the Lord's praise
She rose from the devil's back
Nonetheless she felt no guilt
Nonetheless
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Wings
May 8, 2005 9:35:01 GMT -8
Post by Queen of Rain on May 8, 2005 9:35:01 GMT -8
excellent words, even though i usually love short poetry does this one feel a bit to short cosniderign its about a person and sth adn you leave the reader not say "hmmm" but "and?"... i think your ideas ahve such a nice pattern though so i think that with jsut a few more lines this will b an axcellent poem leaving the reader to think in the way a poet wants her readers to think
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Wings
May 8, 2005 13:20:16 GMT -8
Post by Confusion on May 8, 2005 13:20:16 GMT -8
Thanx very much! I've added to it.... im not sure about what ive added, very sleepy.
let me know what you think.
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Wings
May 19, 2005 7:56:23 GMT -8
Post by Confusion on May 19, 2005 7:56:23 GMT -8
any comments at all on this for improvement?
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Wings
May 20, 2005 10:47:09 GMT -8
Post by Queen of Rain on May 20, 2005 10:47:09 GMT -8
great no more "and?", i love the condensation in this poem, a little too many nonetheless maybeee? but its muuch better.. cool imagery and theme
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Wings
May 21, 2005 0:28:23 GMT -8
Post by Confusion on May 21, 2005 0:28:23 GMT -8
Thanx!!!
yea i did go a little over board with all the nonetheless, ive cut it down to just two now.
Thanx very much for your helpful comments!
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